Porn and Prophecy

I'm okay on the Nostradamic content of that last post, not perfect, but well in the money.

USA Today fulfills my specific prophecy, albeit in a somewhat qualified fashion. It leads with Obama snatching a "partial victory from the jaws of defeat." I figure that's close enough so that I don't have to osculate any one's bum, but I also think I owe you a consolation prize for not nailing it 100 per cent. Here it is, free Danish porn.

On the basis of the same story I'm awarding myself a small number of bonus points. No one has yet called the President's frantic Copenhagen Jig a "learning moment," but a minion, Senate Critter Kerry, did call it a "catalyzing moment. "

It's Obama by a nose

A breathless bulletin out of Copenhagen announces His Obamaness finally gave away enough of the store to get a "climate" agreement out of China, India, and a couple of well known also-rans. No details for us peasants because "it hasn't been announced yet."

The President spent the entire day in a near panic to get something -- damned near anything -- written down so he could sign it. Keystone Kops diplomacy.

I'll bet he or a minion calls it a learning moment, and so it is, a moment in which we learn He is far more interested in meeting artificial deadlines than creating useful policy. Assuming the rest of the Denmark giggle group goes along, The Obama will soon be able to announce a victory, and the adoring press will do the rest for him.

If there isn't at least one major story in the next couple of days worshipping him for jerking victory from the jaws of defeat, I'll kiss your ass on a rowboat in front of The Little Mermaid and loan you my camera to record the moment.

The Libertarian Party

I love my Big-L Libertarian friends, roly-poly puppies so cute you don' t even care that they pee on the carpet a lot. Howard Stern. Bob Barr. And an institutional prose style which is both Frank and Earnest.

I hadn't checked their official news site for a long time but just saw that they've taken to reporting in every press release that Libertarians make up "the third largest political party in America."

If I happen to be running an empty bar room when Bill Gates and Warren Buffet step in for a beer, I am the third richest man in the joint.

Theatrical hopes abandoned

I bit down too hard on an ill-popped kernel last week and crunched a canine, increasing my tattoo:tooth ratio. It had been questionable for a long time. The break and its aftermath were painless. I can still chew a three-dollar steak.

So I decided that since it's about time for a "Deliverance" remake, I should just call up a Hollywood agent and announce my availability to be one of the guys sittin' and whittlin' and spittin' while the banjo answers the guitar.

Then I decided naawww. Smilin' is too much fun. I see my dentist in an hour.

How regrettably bourgeois of me.