Jan 22, 2010

T(he) S(stupid) A(sses) - A really cool cocaine joke



Hoily suffering mother of Gaia. A trained professional
strikes again.


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News, tips and reader photos about all kinds of travel.
The Philadelphia Inquirer tells a tale of stunning stupidity that
left a young woman shaken and crying, other passengers
trying to console her and ended the TSA career of the agent.

Earlier this month, 22-year-old college student
Rebecca Solomon arrived at the Philadelphia airport the
requisite 90 minutes before her flight to Detroit. She
dutifully put her laptop and shoes through the scanners,
engaging in the security theater that frequent fliers
have become so familiar with. She was just a college
student headed back to the University of
Michigan for the spring session.

And then she was pulled aside, presented with a tiny, clear
plastic bag - the kind earrings sometimes come in -
containing white powder.

What about it? The TSA agent wanted an explanation.

Rebecca said she broke into a sweat, wondering what
exactly she would say to explain the unexplainable.
It wasn't hers. She'd never seen it before. But isn't
that what suspects always say.

The seconds stretched out. Tears welled up.

And then the agent said it was his bag, his
white powder, his little joke.

Rebecca gathered her things and, accompanied by
a sympathic witness, went to her gate in tears.

TSA agents, of late clad in new uniforms that look very
much like police uniforms, are figures of authority in
a system that presumes guilt, includes tiers of watchlists
and no-fly lists and lists of people of interest
that are secret and often inaccurate.

Being on the other end of that system is not a comfortable
positionfor most Americans, regardless of how seriously,
or not, they take the process.

To do the TSA's very necessary job, the agents - of all
people - must take it seriously. Little jokes like that
played on Rebecca Solomon undermine the system,
scare people and fuel the criticism of the quasi-police agency.

Was he trying for a date? Battling boredom?
Just a sick puppy who likes to look at terrified faces?

Whatever, he's gone. Fired or quit? We're not allowed
to know that (or his name) because of federal employee
privacy rules.

Let's hope it's the former, and that the reason
cited is extreme ridiculousness.


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The sitzmark of horrid doom

Sweet Albion has found another killer.

I see.

The by-line of an elected official appears over a weekly column. A certain amount of editing is sometimes required to create an illusion of literacy.

"Numbers suggest that it might be effective to impose additional restrictions on younger drivers to the extent those restrictions deal with the circumstances that lead enhance the possibilities a teenager may have an accident."

I have decided this sentence shall not survive.

Jan 21, 2010

BusinessWeak says ... (with multiple choice quiz)

"Big Shots Go Down at Gun Show."

See, "big shot," "gun show." Clever play on words. Get it? Huh? Get it?

It's a quick and dirty report from the SHOT Show which in vintage wire-service speak might be called "a short book," meaning a couple hundred words or less on a story that could be ignored but which some editor decided deserved a mention.

This one hit BusinessWeek because of the FBI sting that corralled the SW sales veep along with about 20 others for bribery of an African, otherwise known as doing business in Africa. BusinessWeek seemed to agree with the feds that it would be just cuter than a baby monkey to make the actual pinches at the big industry trade show.


The piece also included the word we've been breathlessly awaiting, gun sales are down a little from the (pick one):

(a) 2008-2009 panic buying by mouth breathing rednecks driving rusty pickups with Confederate flags and hounds with fleas and ticks.

(b) elevated 2008-2009 sales level due to citizens who, fearing the new and more authoritarian government might decide that the Second Amendment was obsolete, chose prudently to equip themselves for whatever eventualities might occur.