Memo to the First Lady's Staff

Re: Michelle's recent public service announcements:

Isn't there some one in the East Wing with authority to order the camera man to drop his angle to about eye level? Shooting downwards on her (especially with a lens slightly too short) is responsible for that stupid startled-fawn look.

Sioux Falls AAR

Those nice shiny old Colt and SW and revolvers with big holes in the barrel cost a lot of money. Scuza, I mean a LOT of money. Even with some aggressive ad-clicken by my reader friends, I don't think I'll be popping four figures for a New Service any time soon.

This is an outstanding show, meant to showcase (90 per cent or better) pre-64 guns and related items. If you like American frontier weaponry you can drool over hundreds of 19th century Colt Peacemakers and Winchester lever guns, along with a respectable showing of Civil War material. One nice old guy let me handle his Burnside, even to dropping a dummy round into the block and cycling the action a couple of times.

World War Two was well represented and got most of my attention. Adequate and honest Garands are still just under $1,000. M1 carbines run from about $750 up to a beautiful Winchester at $2,950.

The $1100-and-up prices of 1911s have brought many out of the drawers, but I didn't personally spot one I considered "nice," even at $2,000-plus. Webbing has gone beyond ridiculous. Some guys were asking $50 for ratty pistol belts. I wanted a couple more GI .45 magazine pouches but not at $15 each. At that price I'd demand they come complete with a pair of half-dipped mags.

After all the gaping I loopholed only a 1911 mainspring plunger. This time the pleasure was in the looking and the learning.

The following bonus opinion is offered without additional charge: The best place in southwest Minnesota to buy grease and beer after a gun show is the Rumor Mill bar in Adrian, just off I-90. We do recommend you count your change, however.

Let us praise the gun show loophole

The weekend brings an embarrassment of riches. Two large loopholes beckon, one in Sioux Falls, the other in tiny Wells, Minnesota. My usual suspects couldn't agree on a destination, and I've decided to trail along with the westering outfit to the Dakota Territory Gun Collectors Association loophole.

But I confess I'll miss being at Wells. We traditionally loop there amidst several hundred tables in the Wells public school building. The local sportsman's club runs it, and profits are generously shared with the school. Every few years someone up in the Twin Cities SSR discovers, gasp, a loophole right there where Johnnie and Suzie matriculate, and teevee is pleased to amplify their outraged shrieks. The Wells folks -- school board, city council, churches and all -- just grin them down and keep on loopholin'.

The last stink got a lot of coverage, and the club decided to toss the banners a bone for their damp diapers. It changed the name from the "Gun Show" to "Sportsman's Show." I hear they passed the resolution unanimously, laughing uproariously.

I'm not looking for any specific loophole item, but I have not been able to go very many days lately without thinking about how nice it would be to have a nice shiny vintage Colt or SW DA with a big hole in the barrel.

Try the 700 Club

Anyone looking for cheerful spiritual uplift might want to avoid TMR for while.

While I am not ungrateful for the spring melt, three or four days of rain, sun-free sky, huge piles of filthy snow, and boot-sucking mud are beginning to irritate me. In the public market yesterday, smiles were severely rationed.