Death in the North Country

The Mossberg 500 had never seen field duty. It serves as one of the local security tools since having the "turkey" (20-inch) barrel installed for purposes of launching magic cones of certain death at intruders, along with, of course, the fearsome Clickety-Clack Chorus. (by Anton Dvorak, I think, or maybe Bill Haley.) On a lark I took it to the game farm near Avon, Minnesota this weekend for a morning of shooting at ringnecks. It turns out that the cone of death is real when the gun is  loaded with lead No. 6s and properly pointed. Modesty be damned, I estimated the range at 40 yards. My hunting buddy called it 40 to 50, but he is an extremely generous fellow. (The 3-inch double ought-buck in the stock band was set aside for the duration of the hunt.) 

 

The breast is preserved for an evening when I am absolutely certain to be dining alone. It will soak in salt water -- perhaps with a pinch of cumin? -- and be severely seared before hitting the oven. The legs will become part of a slow-cook stew, company welcome.  And anyone who isn't jealous gets a lot more pheasants than I do. Or has never tasted one.

  

RIP

With melancholy,  I record the passing of Clyde. She kept to herself when outsiders --- meaning everyone but her mistress and master --  were around, so I knew her only as Mencken knew Coolidge.  "...no ideas and ... not a nuisance."

She lived a fullness of cat years in a loving home.

Physics for Greens and Other Beginners

Iowans would have saved $3 million — or $12 a family — this Thanksgiving weekend on gasoline if the federal government already had required vehicles to get 60 miles per gallon, an environmental group said Tuesday.


What a limited world-view these guys have. If Mommy Dotguv required vehicles to get 120 miles per gallon, that same poor family would have saved $24.  Further, imagine how rich we'd all be if His Obamaness told Detroit to make 'em go 1,000 miles on a gallon.

Not to mention the joy of having Washington mandate on-board, on-demand force fields fueled by unicorn farts.

The Only Ones

AP corrections are more fun than the original stories.  In this one, intense editorial oversight and multiple layers of fact checking revealed that revolvers don't use clips.


(This version CORRECTS Corrects to say ammunition clip was from officer's service weapon instead of revolver),  reads the appended editorial note. 


Sure, it was actually a magazine, but why get pedantic?


Officer Friendly lost his ammo on a previous flight.  He either didn't notice or decided to brazen it out to avoid crude locker room cop jokes. "Got your ammo, Sam Spade?"


The air line security biffs, who carefully sweep the jets between flights for dangerous objects, didn't find it either.


Let us hoist a glass to the Only Ones.