May 16, 2012
Dear Diary
It's hard to concentrate on sharing interesting and important things with Blogville when you have just lost the second semi-important set of keys within a month.
They're around, and eventually I'll discover them. Meanwhile I think I'm developing some significant philosophical observations.
--It is better to own about half as much stuff as you do.
--Clutter is almost as dangerous as an Obama second term.
---
EDIT 1: Aha. Found the more important of the lost set of keys.
EDIT 2: That blurt about owning half as much does not apply to firearms nor ammunition. I should have made that clear. What could I have been thinking?
May 15, 2012
Father of the Year
I understand the impulse to call the cops on your teenage kid. It's an urge a father should resist, and I predict a bad outcome for a family down in Everly.
The head of the household was rooting around in his 17-year-old's bedroom. He found a little pot and some drug paraphernalia, so he called the sheriff and invited Officer Friendly to search the rest of the house. More contraband was discovered, and Pops waved bye-bye to Junior as the forces of law and order hauled him off to the clink.
Family values, eh?
Better alternatives suggest themselves. You might have been able to talk to the kid. If not, a boxing lesson was in order, from you if you're fit enough or otherwise from a well-muscled uncle, maybe. Choosing to invite the po-po to handle your family dysfunction leads to problems you weren't smart enough to think of. Among them:
1. Sooner or later the cops are going to send him back, and Father's Day at your house is likely to be a restrained celebration.
2. You're probably stuck with him for longer than you planned. The arrest makes him a good deal less employable. Even the Army won't be anxious to take him off your hands.
3. If your motive was to teach the lad a good lesson, you undoubtedly did: "My Old Man is a Treacherous Bastard."
The head of the household was rooting around in his 17-year-old's bedroom. He found a little pot and some drug paraphernalia, so he called the sheriff and invited Officer Friendly to search the rest of the house. More contraband was discovered, and Pops waved bye-bye to Junior as the forces of law and order hauled him off to the clink.
Family values, eh?
Better alternatives suggest themselves. You might have been able to talk to the kid. If not, a boxing lesson was in order, from you if you're fit enough or otherwise from a well-muscled uncle, maybe. Choosing to invite the po-po to handle your family dysfunction leads to problems you weren't smart enough to think of. Among them:
1. Sooner or later the cops are going to send him back, and Father's Day at your house is likely to be a restrained celebration.
2. You're probably stuck with him for longer than you planned. The arrest makes him a good deal less employable. Even the Army won't be anxious to take him off your hands.
3. If your motive was to teach the lad a good lesson, you undoubtedly did: "My Old Man is a Treacherous Bastard."
May 14, 2012
Yep, we're broke
All New York City needs to rise to the economic level of Yap is a new manhole cover policy. Drill a hole in the center.
It a tough way to make a living, but enterprising thieves have been stealing the 300-pound covers lately -- here in the years of our Obama recovery from the Bush et (most definitely) al. financial debacle. The chunk of Con Ed cast iron is worth about 30 bucks at the scrap yard.
It probably isn't a good idea to consider a long-term investment in Manhole Heist, Inc. When Ben Bernanke gets wind of this new store of value, he'll probably seize control and figure out a way to create manhole covers by the trillions. They'll depreciate, and pretty soon it will take a wheel barrow load of them to buy a pair of socks.
It a tough way to make a living, but enterprising thieves have been stealing the 300-pound covers lately -- here in the years of our Obama recovery from the Bush et (most definitely) al. financial debacle. The chunk of Con Ed cast iron is worth about 30 bucks at the scrap yard.
It probably isn't a good idea to consider a long-term investment in Manhole Heist, Inc. When Ben Bernanke gets wind of this new store of value, he'll probably seize control and figure out a way to create manhole covers by the trillions. They'll depreciate, and pretty soon it will take a wheel barrow load of them to buy a pair of socks.
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