The Most Awesomest News Reporting Ever Award

That's the subject line on email from a friend who happens to be one of the sane toilers in the MSM. The substance is from an early Des Moines Register lead on the current storm of our imminent doom:

...and just how bad is it going to be?

"It's going to be pretty bad," said ... a meteorologist with the National Weather Service.

The Primer Shortage Explained

Brits are demonstrating their competitive spirit by popping too many Christmas crackers which are fueled by fulminate of silver.* Not only that, sceptered scientists** have just released results of a grueling study which provide a surefire method of getting the good poppy end and leaving Mum with the fizzle, no matter how hard she worked on the Christmas goose.

Aren't you really glad we won that 1776-83 spat?

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*Don't be picky. It could be primer compound.

**Yes, these would be the grandsons and granddaughters of Winston's Wizards, who developed radar and many other devices for annoying the Nazi's.

From the vomitorium

The AP reports on the Amsoc victory lap:

The occasion was moving for many who'd followed Kennedy, who died in August.

"He's having a merry Christmas in Heaven," Sen. Paul Kirk, D-Mass., appointed to fill Kennedy's seat, told reporters after the tally. Kirk said he was "humbled to be here with the honor of casting essentially his vote.

Kirk, you pretentious old blowhard, Christmas Magic is for tiny children, and the dead are denied the vote, by proxy or otherwise.

The Christmas of Ought-Nine

Yukina roves the land. She may make me miss Christmas with my kids, but she ain't gettin' my Life Force.