The bankers and politicians of Europe are as desperate as our own Ben Bernanke  and his assistant, Barrack Obama. The Germans, for instance,  just finished trying to sell  5 billion Euros in IOUs. Investors  left more than 1 billion worth  of them on the table.

(You'd think the Germans would be better at printing and peddling funny money, what with all their practice back in the good old Weimar frolic. But I digress.)

German money bosses say they'll try to sell the leftovers later, but it looks to me like the orphan Eurotoons could be destined for the "free"box at the garage sale.

Why not? They're like Bernanke bucks. Renewable biomass.

Paging Ed Newman

How 'bout that? You can buy a gizmo to charge your telephone with tiny little pieces of wood, but "wood" is not good enough for marketeers hustling the Bio-Lite.  They insist:

"Fuel (is)  Renewable biomass"

Elegance like that  shames me. For all these years of timber-felling and and maul-swinging, I've missed the opportunity to sound edgy and hip, aquiver with a passion for keeping Mother Earth all scrubbed up; virginal, you might say, although there's an oxymoron to overcome there.

So I reform and report Camp J is at present supplied with nearly three cords of renewable biomass for the wood renewable-biomass burner.

In fairness, the Bio-Lite copy writer does translate for  the benefit of English speakers, confiding to us that  "biomass"  is "(twigs, pine cones, wood pellets, etc.)"

The gadget costs a hundred-nine bucks, but that includes a thermally actuated electrical output to a USB connection for your mobile i-Whatsis.

If you can live without the "thermoelectric generator (TEG)" you can save about a hundred-twenty-nine  bucks with a No.10 can and a set of tin snips. Fueled with renewable biomass, it will boil up your Arbuckles just fine.

H/T to Tam who is hosting a funny discussion on the subject. Some want. Some are skeptical. To each his dag-nab, blue-eyed own.

See-Click-Squeal

Oh, ya got trouble, right there in River City, and that starts with Tee and that rhymes with Camaree and that stands for rat out your neighbor.*

Mason City commissars stand proud this morning, glowing with the knowledge that they have made every citizen an instant block captain. Thank you, Smart Phone.

“See-Click-Fix” lets people report quality-of-life issues and request city services though an online and mobile interface. Residents can send in complaints about things like garbage, junk cars, weeds and other neighborhood nuisances. 

Which takes the ancient art of back-fence bitching to a high official level. Either keep those damned petunias watered or face the SWAT team. After all, "quality-of-life" is a fairly broad term, isn't it?

I suppose most of you recall the 1984 passage in which Smith's neighbor kid went to the Thought Police to report his father for insufficient adoration of Big Brother. In Mason City now, the little bastard can do it instantly from the comfort of his bean bag chair.

---

*For younger readers: Mason City produced Meredeth Wilson who produced 76 Trombones  set in a Mason City pseudonymously called River City. Professor Harold Hill blew into town on a moral crusade to get the youngsters out of the pool hall and into band uniforms. He turned out to be a charlatan. His offspring remained and were elected to high city office.

I'll have the baby back ribs to start

Then a bacon cheesburger with center-cut prime rib on the side.  For dessert bring me a large bratwurst with chili sauce.

The halls of academia say turning vegetarian is not all that healthy.  Amazing.

"I was absolutely surprised," said Dr. Dena Bravata, a senior research affiliate at Stanford and long-time internist who began the analysis because so many of her patients asked if they should switch.

I'll bet the 99 per cent of us weren't very surprised.  We've long suspected that letting a quadruped begin the process of converting alfalfa to protein is the most efficient way to go.

...and a Beefeater martini while we're wating please.