Oooooh, That Smarts

The feds say we must do away with children's books published before 1985 in order to avoid the carnage we used to experience when kids licked the lead out of the ink in "Lassie" and similar tomes. Surely you recall that the near-zero survival rate of literate 10-year-olds a generation and more back. Who can forget the mass funerals of pre-teen innocents in the wake of "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish." The bodies were stacked high in the corridors of children's libraries everywhere.

And you're not gonna change my mind, but if you happen to disagree, you probably will like a Tamara take on DeeCee's designation of Big Little Books as a pandemic in the making:

I will adapt to my cigarettes getting messed with; I will improvise and overcome if you want to take my bayonet lug away; but I am this close to saddling up and busting caps over The Wizard of Oz.

Keep your slimy, regulation-encrusted hands off my childhood, you bastards. I'm not kidding.

:)