I say, Old Chap, she's dead and the Butter did it

I see from The Bitch Girls that our British cousins are at it again. Actually, I'll bet the Brits are just jealous of New York City for scooping them on trying to ban the killer crystals of death.

So Parliament and No. 10 Downing are under pressure to crack down on the greasy globules of imminent demise.

This all stems from one of your large moral failings: You like butter.

After a roundabout PR exercise well explained by the BG's, a high-level British Worrier -- so high-level as to require hyphenation -- has hit the papers with the money quote:

" President of the Faculty, Professor Alan Maryon-Davis said: " ... 'Food can be made perfectly well without trans fat (read: butter, Ed.) and the Government should move to ban them as soon as possible because eliminating them would help save many lives'."

I forgot the exact name of the faculty he's the president of, but you can bet it (a) consumes large bales of British citizens' tax money at a single sitting and (b) has a faculty for knowing better than you about almost everything.

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An afterthought: Banning butter will automatically reduce the prevalence of butter knives, thereby mitigating yet another publlic safety scourge bedeviling the lives of our former colonial masters.