Nov 30, 2010

The Great Princeton Hummus War

Will you join me in a great cause?  Hummus eaters at Princeton are being exploited, and a mass protest is necessary.

The problem:  Grocery stores operated by Princeton offer only one brand of hummus. It is owned by Pepsi Cola and a  subsidiary. A Palestinian student group accuses Pepsi of donating money to support Israeli human-right violations.

The Palestinian kids collected enough signatures to force a student  referendum. If it passes the university will be asked to stock its hummus shelves with competing brands which do not contribute to Israeli human rights horrors.

(1) What in holy Hell is a university doing running grocery stores?

(2) If we can find a way to send the complaining kids home when they've finished matriculating, they'll become the rulers of whatever sort of nuisance the Palestinians next establish to misgovern themselves.   That is, they stand a good chance of becoming Gaza warloards in L.L. Bean button-downs who can quote Norman Thomas. (Princeton gives great credentials for aspiring rulers, foreign and domestic.)

(3) What in holy Hell do the P-kids kids think they're at Princeton to accomplish, anyway? If one of their goals is to learn to draft carefully thought-out proposals, mark down a failing grade:

"The referendum was originally scheduled for last week but was canceled then because of a goof: The wording called for Sabra hummus not to be offered at university stores rather than for additional products to be sold, too."


Hummus: A sort of sandbox  salsa of chickpeas, sesame seed paste, olive oil and whatever spices do not violate camel country dietary laws. Suspicions that it diminishes mental capacity are so far unproven.

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