Sep 9, 2011
Absent With Command-Approved Leave
The TMR G-2 (Intelligence) section has credible but non-specific information that this position will be abandoned for short period. This interregnum will permit the principle G-3 (Operations) section to undertake attacks on other high-value targets. Unconfirmed reports suggest this will include rectification of recent lamentable housekeeping lapses, anemia in the ready firewood stocks, and, directly quoting confidential informants, "weather too damn nice to spend banging on a keyboard."