Oct 22, 2011

Hey! Which way is there, and are we almost there yet?

A jealous rage has gripped me ever since the more dependable truck took up residence at Camp J.  Most of my peers own vehicles equipped with magic boxes they call GPS. I had none. Action was required.

It is one of the large, heavy old Airguides with many good features. The only bad one  is the difficulty of mounting without drilling ugly holes in the more dependable dash board. That is temporarily solved with gaffer's tape. The primary delights are: (1) Absence of a shrill old crone yelling at me to turn right or left or park the SOB and go back to driver's ed. (2) Knowledge that the satellite where the magical Turn-Left-NOW! witch lives will likely fall from the sky before Gentle Gaea changes her magnetic corset.


It is possible to go too far in adapting perfectly good retrotechnology to land-borne vessels. But it would be fun to try.

Yes, THAT Kelvin.

For precise navigation, of course, a speed input is necessary.

Still, I am willing to concede that the bitch in the electronic box arranges for my buddies to get lost with far greater precision than is possible for me. For instance, there was this time in Sioux Falls when my pal followed her directions to the digital letter en route to a big loophole festival. We ended near a sheep pen, in a Superfund site I think, not too far from the state prison. There were no guns to loophole in the immediate area, but we knew within  three yards just where we were. Lost. At.


Joel said...

Hee. Neighbors had some prospective visitors who rather scornfully turned down their offer of a guide to the homestead, insisting instead that the neighbors simply provide their GPS coordinates.

Hours late, they finally called and admitted they were hopelessly lost. Miles away. GPS can tell you where something is, but isn't so great at how to get there from here.

JohnMXL said...

A couple of friends took a trip together - 1 car, 2 people.

Each brought his GPS. Since the units were manufactured by different companies they though it would be fun to compare the routes each chose.

On the whole, the GPSes cooperated, but when it got down to navigating city streets the arguing began.

Ultimately the travelers saw signs for the hotel to which they were heading and finished the trip by dead reckoning.

JohnW said...

Last week I discovered that Tom Tom speak for "MAK-lin-tok Drive meant McClintock Drive...

Anonymous said...

It!s difficult for a man to follow directions no matter if they use a map, compass, GPS or whatevr.

JohnMXL said...

Actually, Anonymous, in my experience, if the man is married, and the GPS voice is female, then it usually works pretty well.

Married men are used to women telling them where to go.