A reporter with even a few years in the racket thinks he's seen about everything. Wrong, Jim. You never even imagined the criminal mind that would conceive ...
--stuffing something non-flushable down a WalMart toilet
--arranging yourself on the commode
--hitting the lever
--enduring the chilly flow on your back side
--complaining to store management
--demanding and getting new clothes plus cash for the merchandise you were planning to return but couldn't because the backup destroyed the receipt.
It would be entertaining to be in court to hear Ms. Cannon explain this; even more fun to hear top-flight WalMart managers detail how she got away with it several times.
True, it would tempt a journalist to write it up with all the obvious, sophomoric puns. Of course I would resist any such non-professionalism.
Bidet as it may, it would still be fun.