Feb 1, 2014

I'll go quietly officer

The drone from the Drug Enforcement Administration hovers outside my window.  It records my crime and transfers the evidence to a national drug-criminal database. With luck I can cop a plea.

The Ivory Tower is deciding that free-range coffee is an addictive drug. It demands discipline and suggests that everything ought to be labeled as to caffeine content.  Alert the FDA and, of course, copy the DEA.

Juliano (the expert)  says that in order to avoid any potentially serious withdrawal symptoms, people should limit their daily caffeine consumption to 400mg, two to three 8-ounce cups of coffee.

Can a law be far away?

A couple of things here:

--The "study" is 40 years late.  The noted academician James Michener reported the facts in 1974  in his doorstop Centennial. Most of you will recall his case study of the high-plains farm wife who went bugdoozy when the coffee ran out one wild and isolated winter.

--Personally, I could never befriend anyone who drinks from or serves in an 8-ounce cup.  Wimps and wusses have their place in the world,  but if I'm in a sewing mood and want a thimble, I won't ask you to fill it with Folgers first.

Oh, and before I pour my third (big) cup of the morning and take my leave, a suggestion. Call your broker. Dump Starbucks.


Rob said...

8oz? When you look up the "recommended" way to make coffee they use 6oz as the standard cup.
That always struck me as odd...

I used to measure my daily coffee intake by the gallon... these days it's usually one cup a day, not sure how big the cup is but it's larger than 8 oz!

JohnMXL said...

What's Starbucks have to do with coffee?

I've tasted motor oil with better flavor, and at a more appropriate temperature for consumption.

Jim said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jim said...

You're both spot on. I've never read "How to make Coffee," so now I know that the 6 oz. scam is the reason Folger's can emblazon "Makes 270 cups!" on the two-pound can. I get about 125, I think.

IMO Starbuck's success, John, results from urban America's confusion about the difference between a well-advertised runny cow flop and a cup of honesty. This also explains the Obama administration.