Feb 20, 2014

The right tool for the right job

Admit it. You, yourself, have felt the urge and even come >this<  close to action.

Bob put money in the machine and pulled the lever, No product.  No help from the return-money button. The boss's fork lift was handy.

Some jerk squealed. Polaris fired him. He applied for unemployment compensation.  


"State unemployment records say banging and rocking the machine didn't work, so M---------- allegedly commandeered a forklift, picked up the machine at least six times and dropped it on the floor at the Polaris Industries' warehouse in Milford. Three candy bars felll."


Denied. He must settle for the three gedunks.

My impulse control is a little better than that, though far from perfect, leading to a nice little fantasy.

Administrative law judge:  "Why on earth did you pulverize the candy machine with a fork lift, Jim?"


Me: "Because I didn't have a goddam Tommy Gun on me, dammit. That's why."

1 comment:

Donald Hawk said...

Brings back memories i got suspended from a job back in the nineties for putting my hand trough the vending machine glass best part was it wasnt even my doller a truck driver came in and his chocolate bar got stuck and I was walking by and said O happens all the time you just got to hit it here and that was that candy was retrieved then I had to fight a co worker off that figured broken glass meant he was free to loot the machine which in turn got me suspended from work for a week