A nice boy from the Jewish tradition, MAIG boss Michael Bloomberg certainly loosens jaws when he lines up with the most anal of the Calvinists and Weberites; you know, the folks who deem Tesla drivers holier than poor schmucks tooling around in rusty pickups.
Bloomberg is going to Heaven because wealth is a sign of God's favor, don't you know?
Honey, I shrunk the camel.
His Gate pass wasn't free. He bought off St. Peter with deposit of $103 million to pretend to clean up the coal and motivate fish to fuck more frequently. He now announces he getting his halo out of layaway with another $50 million to ensure that only criminals are armed.
No one is making this up:
I am telling you if there is a God, when I get to heaven I’m not stopping to be interviewed. I am heading straight in. I have earned my place in heaven. It’s not even close.
So be it, and we can hope that former mayor Bloomberg enjoys an eternity in close companionship with Abner Scofield, of whom our friend Mark Twain wrote. You'll recall, of course, that the wealthy coal dealer secured his seat near the Throne of God as a reward for sending $15 to his impoverished sister. The Recording Angel confirmed the arrangements in a personal letter to Abner:
"... (St.)Peter, weeping, said, "He shall be received with a torchlight procession when he comes"; and then all heaven boomed, and was glad you were going there. And so was hell."