Let's Be Careful Out There

The mysterious solstice can bring bad things. For instance, 143 years ago today Captain William Fetterman decided he was smarter than his commanding officer, smarter than Red Cloud, smarter than Roman Nose. A couple of hours later he was dead, which probably constituted no harm to the Republic. But the gobshite took 79 good men with him.

It was part of Red Cloud's War. It happened because the government of the United States, a la Kelo, decided to exercise a little eminent domain against some people who weren't buying the concept and were brave enough to resist it.

Ratting Out to Santa

Hi Kids! Merry Christmas!

In Storm Lake, Iowa, Santa's best helpers sport Hi-Cap 9mms and .40s on their shiny leather belts. And they keep track of all the times you wet the bed and pull Sister's hair. Then they get on their Motorolas and tell Santa all about it.

"Storm Lake public safety team members escorted Santa to the kindergarten class at St. Mary's school on Thursday. Students learned Santa has a two way police and fire radio in his sleigh. That's so he can communicate with public safety personnel worldwide to compile the naughty and nice list." (Credit Radio KICD)

I've been trying without success to think of a sicker concept. 10-4?

Porn and Prophecy

I'm okay on the Nostradamic content of that last post, not perfect, but well in the money.

USA Today fulfills my specific prophecy, albeit in a somewhat qualified fashion. It leads with Obama snatching a "partial victory from the jaws of defeat." I figure that's close enough so that I don't have to osculate any one's bum, but I also think I owe you a consolation prize for not nailing it 100 per cent. Here it is, free Danish porn.

On the basis of the same story I'm awarding myself a small number of bonus points. No one has yet called the President's frantic Copenhagen Jig a "learning moment," but a minion, Senate Critter Kerry, did call it a "catalyzing moment. "

It's Obama by a nose

A breathless bulletin out of Copenhagen announces His Obamaness finally gave away enough of the store to get a "climate" agreement out of China, India, and a couple of well known also-rans. No details for us peasants because "it hasn't been announced yet."

The President spent the entire day in a near panic to get something -- damned near anything -- written down so he could sign it. Keystone Kops diplomacy.

I'll bet he or a minion calls it a learning moment, and so it is, a moment in which we learn He is far more interested in meeting artificial deadlines than creating useful policy. Assuming the rest of the Denmark giggle group goes along, The Obama will soon be able to announce a victory, and the adoring press will do the rest for him.

If there isn't at least one major story in the next couple of days worshipping him for jerking victory from the jaws of defeat, I'll kiss your ass on a rowboat in front of The Little Mermaid and loan you my camera to record the moment.