The Emmet County, Iowa, sportsman's club knows how to run a loophole, friendly, well organized, and well advertised. The guys even hang around the door offering to help you carry your stuff from vehicle to table.
It suffers only from the dominance of plastic fantastic, but that's a world wide issue, and there was still enough honest walnut and steel to keep a hard-core recalcitrant happy.
The Saturday crowd was large and oddly open-handed. I was forced to cancel my date with Miss Cougar (senior division) last night due to exhaustion from counting Federal Reserve Cartoons, not to mention palpating the newly adopted Mossberg 800A. (.308).
The overriding pleasure is the glow of having freed a few cubic feet of gun-room space via a massive conversion of pure junk to FRCs.
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While I was freezing, my daughter and her good man were on a ferry from Puerto Juarez to Isla Mujeres. It's her umpteenth trip. counting her first when she was a toddler and the island was our ultimate destination on a three-week roadie down the Mexican gulf coast. She posted a picture on arrival. Palms and white beach and cervasa and damned if I'm not going to invite myself along next time. Like all Irish-derived humans, she carries a load of guilt around, and I think I can exploit it for selfish purposes.
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The winter of malice continues. The current 10 above and predicted 1 below are comparatively benign, but that worm hole through Canada is letting another freeze fart through, and the portent is a 1-below high on Wednesday, followed by minus- teens low.
Why the Hell doesn't the south side of the jet stream stay up by Moose Jaw where it belongs? Kerry should stop horsing around in Iran and investigate. A strongly worded note to Toronto is the least we should demand.
Only a dork uses the term "enervating," but I'm tempted.
I'm placing my faith in the long range NWS guess that the pattern is changing and could bring actual above-freezing temperatures by a week from today. I used to draw to inside straights, too.
Feb 1, 2014
I'll go quietly officer
The drone from the Drug Enforcement Administration hovers outside my window. It records my crime and transfers the evidence to a national drug-criminal database. With luck I can cop a plea.
The Ivory Tower is deciding that free-range coffee is an addictive drug. It demands discipline and suggests that everything ought to be labeled as to caffeine content. Alert the FDA and, of course, copy the DEA.
Juliano (the expert) says that in order to avoid any potentially serious withdrawal symptoms, people should limit their daily caffeine consumption to 400mg, two to three 8-ounce cups of coffee.
Can a law be far away?
A couple of things here:
--The "study" is 40 years late. The noted academician James Michener reported the facts in 1974 in his doorstop Centennial. Most of you will recall his case study of the high-plains farm wife who went bugdoozy when the coffee ran out one wild and isolated winter.
--Personally, I could never befriend anyone who drinks from or serves in an 8-ounce cup. Wimps and wusses have their place in the world, but if I'm in a sewing mood and want a thimble, I won't ask you to fill it with Folgers first.
Oh, and before I pour my third (big) cup of the morning and take my leave, a suggestion. Call your broker. Dump Starbucks.
Can a law be far away?
A couple of things here:
--The "study" is 40 years late. The noted academician James Michener reported the facts in 1974 in his doorstop Centennial. Most of you will recall his case study of the high-plains farm wife who went bugdoozy when the coffee ran out one wild and isolated winter.
--Personally, I could never befriend anyone who drinks from or serves in an 8-ounce cup. Wimps and wusses have their place in the world, but if I'm in a sewing mood and want a thimble, I won't ask you to fill it with Folgers first.
Oh, and before I pour my third (big) cup of the morning and take my leave, a suggestion. Call your broker. Dump Starbucks.
Jan 31, 2014
Cold Comfort
Some things are perfectly predictable. This weekend I'll be at the Estherville loophole. I will try to improve my collection. I will see a blue-steel candidate and, after due discourse with the owner, will make what I believe a realistic offer. He will respond: "I got more than that in it," as though that was (a) necessarily true and (b) my problem rather than his. As I say, completely predictable.
Just as are the scrambling apes we hire to represent us. The headline news in the Midwest is still propane. It is either unobtainable or priced out of reach of poor people,and even some not so poor. ($4.99 per gallon locally at last report.)
Our politicians are of course very concerned. They feel the pain as they lounge about the overheated Taj Mahals where they meet to dicker with your money. They flood the air waves and strain newsprint budgets with promises to "do something."
It's a tossup between my northern neighbor, Minnesota, and my home state about which looks more cynically ridiculous.
Minnesota state government is responding to the home-heat crisis with a hotline.
"Minnesota Hotline. How may I help you Sir or Madam?"
"Hello. Dis is Ole and it is 'bout 14 below and our tank it is empty and Lena and me are cold."
"We understand, Please press 13 to be connected with the the Minnesota Department of Interior Environmental Comfort."
"You tink dey help us?"
(Under breath: Beats the Hell out of Me.) "I am sure you will find, Sir, that they understand your concern. Good bye."
We have a sort of hot line too, but our Des Moines politicians also want to throw a little money at Jack Frost, one million dollars. They are telling the media and hoping for praise -- the kind that can be turned into votes come November.
They would really prefer that you stop reaching for your $3 Chinese calculator, especially if you remember that Iowa already provides heating help for about 95,000 homes (under LIHEAP). Because then you might discover that their massive show of compassion amounts to to ten and a half-bucks per home, or enough propane to heat your average house for maybe four hours.
----
There's no intent here to belittle the problem, and I'm on record as offering the comfort of the Camp Jiggleview fire to anyone who won't steal the silver. I doubt if I could get any of the legislthings to tell me if they've offered to open their home.
Just as are the scrambling apes we hire to represent us. The headline news in the Midwest is still propane. It is either unobtainable or priced out of reach of poor people,and even some not so poor. ($4.99 per gallon locally at last report.)
Our politicians are of course very concerned. They feel the pain as they lounge about the overheated Taj Mahals where they meet to dicker with your money. They flood the air waves and strain newsprint budgets with promises to "do something."
It's a tossup between my northern neighbor, Minnesota, and my home state about which looks more cynically ridiculous.
Minnesota state government is responding to the home-heat crisis with a hotline.
"Minnesota Hotline. How may I help you Sir or Madam?"
"Hello. Dis is Ole and it is 'bout 14 below and our tank it is empty and Lena and me are cold."
"We understand, Please press 13 to be connected with the the Minnesota Department of Interior Environmental Comfort."
"You tink dey help us?"
(Under breath: Beats the Hell out of Me.) "I am sure you will find, Sir, that they understand your concern. Good bye."
We have a sort of hot line too, but our Des Moines politicians also want to throw a little money at Jack Frost, one million dollars. They are telling the media and hoping for praise -- the kind that can be turned into votes come November.
They would really prefer that you stop reaching for your $3 Chinese calculator, especially if you remember that Iowa already provides heating help for about 95,000 homes (under LIHEAP). Because then you might discover that their massive show of compassion amounts to to ten and a half-bucks per home, or enough propane to heat your average house for maybe four hours.
----
There's no intent here to belittle the problem, and I'm on record as offering the comfort of the Camp Jiggleview fire to anyone who won't steal the silver. I doubt if I could get any of the legislthings to tell me if they've offered to open their home.
Jan 30, 2014
Don't bury the lede
Okay. I won't:
Yahoo News needs a wire editor who isn't smoking crack on duty.
-0-
Home base for YN is here, and it has been a bookmark on my Mac for years.
This morning, the news lineup there begins with a hit piece on Obama by YN's own Matt Bai.
Next, a Daily Beast hit piece on Ted Cruz.
Then a nigh incomprehensible satire (?) by Ann Coulter, followed by a MatchCom ad dressed up as a news headline, then another D. Beast thumbsucker on pot laws.
A couple of similar items later you get to the first actual news report which, this morning, is offered in Spanish. And that is probably the first thing the reading masses will catch as a probable journalism screwup.
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I speak now of a certain period of time, beginning roughly in the 1880s and ending about the time the national information system was captured by vidicons imaging beautiful coifs yammering happy talk on the six-o'clock news.
In those days, every daily newspaper bigger than the Bloomington Pantograph employed a wire editor, usually a crusty old reporter too far gone to be of much use on a beat but still possessed of the single most important thing in journalism: news judgement.
He monitored the old 66 words-per-minute Teletypes*, ripping copy, spiking** most of it, selecting the best and most relevant stories for his readers. These he massaged in several ways and passed on to the senior editors at the "desk."
The better ones came to work sober and didn't reach for the jug of Jim Beam hidden in the file drawer on the right-hand side of their two-pedestal desk at least until the presses were rolling with the bulldog edition.
The final product was a paper which, whatever its faults of emphasis, story placement, and editorial slant, gave its readers a concise and (more-or-less) dependable view of changes in the world and the nation since the previous day's editions.
Not even the worst of the damned Hearst rags would have gone to press with the above-mentioned Yahoo cesspool on Page One.
-0-
There are still men and women alive who practiced journalism with an almost religious belief in the sanctity of the mission. That's why you see so many of us trudging around with sad basset -hound eyes, fighting the urge to reach down for our hidden flask of Jim Beam.
(TBC)
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*Through the WW2/Korea era there were three fierce competitors based in the U.S. The Associated Press (AP) was the unquestioned leader, followed by United Press (UP) and International News Service (INS). INS sold itself to UP, creating United Press International (UPI) which went broke in the 1980s and survives today mostly as an internet logo, a feature service at best.
**Spiking: Unwanted wire copy was slammed on to the spike in case it might be needed later.
If some guy you met in a bar claimed to be a wire editor and could not display several puncture-wound scars on his palms, he was lying to you.
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