Mar 5, 2014

Be careful what you point, kids

Nathan is 10, goes to Devonshire (Ohio) Alternative Elementary School.

He just drew a three-day suspension for pointing his finger, or, as the school czars call it, a "level 2 lookalike firearm."

I salute the school authorities with a stiffly raised adjacent finger. Call it a level 2 lookalike one-tine pitch fork if you want.

And, just horsing around here, what happens to a sixth-grade guy who becomes suddenly and, shall we say, pointedly aroused when the short-skirted little knockout in the next chair crosses her legs? Maybe an NFA violation?

H/T Joel

Mar 3, 2014

Jim's Beauty Secrets

And here you thought I was going to advise you to irritate an authoritarian statist every day, didn't you?  You should, of course, because that makes you smile, and a smile is about the sexiest thing going.

But I'm really talking about skin beauty. This time of year my hands get all crinkly. When I pick up my 1943-issue 1911 A1 in order to irritate an authoritarian statist it sounds like a class of junior high kids wadding up their D-minus English essays. You  don't want  that. For one thing, it might alert the statist and give him time to hide.

My usual beauty aid is Corona, sometimes known as horse liniment. It works pretty well, and if you use it while drinking Mexican beer you might break into a syncopated Corona Corona improvisation. That would be sexy too, especially if your date is named Juanita or something like that.

Last night, however, I found something better. I went to an auction and came home with a professionally done 1903 Remington sporter. It needs a spa day too, but that's okay because dirt cheap. One problem was the sling, high quality leather but drier than high-noon Yuma.

Dry leather requires mink oil, and I used my fingers to smear great gobs of it all over the strap. It's still soaking in, but, ooh lah lah!  My silken hands. I dare not go to the WalMart today lest droves of lady associates swoon.




Mar 2, 2014

Geopolitical grabass?

Grinning Russians in the Crimea. Smug Havana political thugs showing Russian sailors around town. It could be serious.

Or it could be like the locker-room games in 6th Period PE. Big jocks identify the chess club nerds and snap their butts with wet towels. The weakest  and most excitable get the worst of it.

The  idea is more to humiliate than to hurt.

So. Who has Putin identified as the easiest mark in his campaign to restore Russian respectability after his own nation's humiliation in our Reagan years? Could it be a ward heeler who lucked out and opened his hope-and-change reign with a world apology tour?








Mar 1, 2014

Settled Science - Quote of the Day

Commenter Mr. Galt at Joel's place:

If Mr. Newton’s Law of Gravity is still up for debate, by God so is “global warming”.

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Recommend RTWT.