Jul 22, 2012

Seen four, seen 'em all

I'm reminded by my teevee that Ted Turner is not to be totally despised. Flashing through the channels on a brief hydration break, I stopped at TCM because, there on my screen, were Marilyn Monroe AND Jane Russell in some '50s moom pitcher show. Perhaps 90 seconds later I clicked it off in favor of going out again to the mid-day sun where I am sawing an old blackboard into ten-inch squares. They will replace the badly broken tiles under the wood burner.

Close call. Both Jane and Marilyn. Right here in my living room. But the decision stands, a reflection of my character and work ethic. And if any of youse guys  mutter something like naaaah or advancing years, I won't like you any more.

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I'm getting to like "hydrate." It sounds a lot more cool and tactical than "drink."


Oh, what horrific Candy

You haven't seen my three little essays on the Batman massacre. Two of them are in draft, desperately seeking focus. The other one has been dismissed to the ether as utter bullshit.

But you can see this one because it has Candy Crowley in it. I knew Candy Crowley, and if name-dropping doesn't justify a post, nothing does.

Candy was on local teevee, reading news to a medium market.  Off duty she occupied her time being an insufferable bitch. Let it be said, however, that she was a gorgeous insufferable bitch, and that would account for Ted Turner calling her up to the majors. She's been there ever since, a nice fit with the CNN view that if it ain't Left it ain't right. And I suppose that helps account for her continued presence, post beauty.

Sic transit hourglass. I mean, just figuratively speaking. But teevee pandering endures forever.

I caught a brief snatch of her this morning as she interviewed John McCain.* She was being shocked and horrified that the Aurora killer was able to purchase (and here her jaw drops, her eyes go wide, and she enunciates ever syllable precisely) six. thou. sand. rounds. of. am.mu.ni.tion. car.tridges. ov. er. the. IN.TER.NET. !

She didn't approve of the drum magazine, either. Or the "bomb-making supplies." Taken altogether, she thought that we must find a way to spy out everyone with 6,000 rounds,**  a big  jammy magazine, and/or a small tank of propane.

Candy, you twit, did it ever occur to you that you might reserve your public display of injured horror for that which you know something about?

At the simplest level, the internet is the worst possible place to equip yourself for terror. There's a paper trail, the credit card, the IP address, the delivery records. You can get everything you need at WalMart or Farm Fleet Supply. Walk in. Pick up what you need. Pay cash. Walk out.

And the "tear" gas. We need to track people who buy gas or its percursers.  I know it may seem a bit tyrannical to put everyone guilty of possessing a gallon of bleach and a quart of ammonia on the no-fly list. But it's for the children.

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**I don't remember what McCain said. It doesn't matter.

**Put your hands down. They are watching.















Jul 20, 2012

Colorado

It isn't hugely important , and some people will find it insensitive to bring it up so soon after the Batman massacre. But, since reporters and editors get paid to relay  coherent information:

CNN has said several times that the shooter was armed with "an AK-47-type weapon, and a rifle, and two handguns."

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Mayor Bloomberg is, quite unexpectedly, not worried about an appearance of insensitivity. He was immediately in the papers and on the air with his standard demand that police confiscate the firearms of everyone who did not shoot up a theatre last night.

Jul 18, 2012

Espresso Justice

And yet another tale of what may happen when impetuous young men meet a wise old philosopher.

"Don't none of you [expletives] move," one of the teens reportedly yelled at the cafe patrons. One "teen" was swinging a gun, the other a bat.

One of the (expletives) in the internet cafe was Sam Williams, 71, philosophically armed with a .380 handgun. He chose to move despite the instructions to the contrary.  When he and his pistol quit moving, the 19-year-olds were chastened, not to mention bleeding.

Local officials say they probably won't charge Sam with a crime for protecting himself and other (expletives) people in the cafe. That's good as far as it goes, but I see no mention of either a gold medal or compensating Sam for the expended rounds.