Sort of a Roy Bean with an M4gery?

They still elect "county judges" down in Texas, though I gather from Wiki they pass their time more in general-purpose bureaucracy than in judging. To this Yankee eye they seem something like a super-commissioner of a county with the added authority to marry folks up and declare war on the United Nations.

One of them in Lubbock County is awful worried about His Ineptness getting re-elected and handing America over to Ban-Ki-moon (a foreigner), so he nailed some air time on a local Fox teevee station to warn folks to vote Republican. But, if that doesn't work, to rest easy anyhow because Judge Tom Head and the sherf  will be at the ramparts.

As he* sees things,  it's either a Romney victory or:

I'm thinking the worst. Civil unrest, civil disobedience, civil war maybe. And we're not just talking a few riots here and demonstrations, we're talking Lexington, Concord, take up arms and get rid of the guy. Now what's going to happen if we do that, if the public decides to do that? He's going to send in U.N. troops.

Gee, there's a lot of Bilderburg there, and, by the way, you do know that the Illuminati abuse little boys in the Bohemian Grove, don't you?

 "I don't want 'em in Lubbock County. OK. So I'm going to stand in front of their armored personnel carrier and say 'you're not coming in here'."

I worry about that image, Judge. It sounds quite a bit like that fracas in Tienanmen Square back in '89. It may have slipped your mind that the guy who faced the tank was another one of them foreigners.

"And the sheriff, I've already asked him, I said 'you gonna back me' he said, 'yeah, I'll back you'. Well, I don't want a bunch of rookies back there. I want trained, equipped, seasoned veteran officers to back me."

And here we get to the proximate cause of Judge Head's high-temperature rhetoric. He wants a tax increase -- 1.7 per cent -- to hire  more "trained, equipped, seasoned veteran officers to back me." 

Judge Tom Head, the Audie Murphy of the Staked Plains.

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it is unpleasant to make fun of guys like this. I think they're underdeveloped souls, sometimes "well-meaning," but usually befuddled by the complexities of human organization and seeking clarity through conspiracy theories while burdened with personal fantasies of leading a heroic resistance.

The judge speaks small pieces of a certain truth. The Obama crowd probably does cherish sweet dreams of one world; all lesser life forms such as you and me carefully regulated by Platonic Men of Gold, themselves.

Who doubts that their dreams remain just that because they understand that we peons will forbid it, politically for as long as remotely possible, then and only then -- in extremis  -- and may it be delayed a thousand years ---directly. One trouble with armed insurrections is that they tend to blow up a lot of cute three-year-old kids.

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*This fellow is undoubtedly an aberrant. I've known quite a lot of Texans (nice people) and even Texas politicians. Taken as a whole, they're no crazier than anyone else, although they do seem to put zippitydoodahs in public office at a slightly higher-than-average rate. That Richardson woman. That Dick Perry. Or maybe not. Even here in an exemplary state we have to answer for the Tom-Toms. Harkin. Vilsack. Sorry.

I told you God hates Republicans

From the AP's  Ten things you should know today:"


5. TROPICAL STORM ISAAC HAS REPUBLICANS WORRIED
After hitting hurricane strength it could target Tampa, right when the GOP holds its convention there.

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History repeats. I was with a delegation to the '08 convention in St. Paul. About the first day a hurricane threatened some place on the Gulf, and as a matter of sincere moral concern  good PR we suspended  "business" for a day or so. *

A handful of my fellow delegates and I spent the off day capitalizing on the hospitality of lobbyists, and I think this was the time I managed to scarf up about two hundred bucks worth of sushi paid for by the teachers' union.  The sacrifices a guy makes for his country.

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*This is slightly misleading. Little if any business is done at national political conventions. It's more accurate to think of them as made-for-teevee movies. Any and all of them could be appropriately titled "Pandering with Pep."

Like The Rolling Stones

I try not to miss Brandon's stories in the local weekly. He always treats me to a novel view of the English language. This week he gushes about the remodeling of an old WPA project, a shelter house made of a concrete slab piled high with granite boulder walls.

"It's been in the works for over five years and finally, renovations to one of the most dynamic shelters in Dickinson County is complete..."

Tectonic movement aside, where's it going, Brandon?

Hi! I'm yo Fuller Rush Man

The cops have three of them in jail over in Estherville. They're accused of drug offenses, and I can only wonder again why there is no statute making criminal stupidity a felony all by itself.

A bunch of guys from around Portland, Oregon, blew into the quiet little county seat, checked into some cheap rooms and fanned out to sell drugs door-to-door. Let me repeat that. Door-to-door. How surprised could they have been when some folks called the law?

To add a little more bizarre:

"The investigation resulted in authorities obtaining two search warrants for rooms at the Super 8 Motel in Estherville. However, authorities believe some of the suspects got away after being told door-to-door sales require a permit."

I see. The perps were comfortable selling pot and heroin to the lady of the house. But they panicked and lammed after learning that their enterprise needed the same city permit required of Hoover vacuum hustlers.