World Premier! "The Virgin Whine."

Of course it is the whine which is chaste, not your author who is marking the approaching autumnal equinox with a domestic report, his first weather pee'n'moaner of the season.

The woodburner was getting ugly, loaded with paper and plastic trash, waiting for a morning just like this. I lit it off and it blazed nicely for about 15 minutes. The bitch is this: It felt way too good.