I'm not a real criminal, but I play one on the internet, so I'm surprised to find a new crime I didn't know about.
Over in Osage, someone called the cops because an ER nurse was acting funny, and the wheels of justice turned.
(She) faces one count of possession of drug paraphernalia, one count of simulated public intoxication and one count of theft as well as three counts of possession of a controlled substance and one count of possession of contraband in a correctional facility. She’s pleaded not guilty.
Simulated public intox? Does that mean we can lock up the Reverend Mister Al Sharpton, too?