By virtue of of having been an operative for national Republicans, I remain, many years later, on the special sucker lists. If they categorize it finely, I'm in the Venn overlap as one of the superannuated has-beens who is on record as having given a little money or service to The Stupid Party since leaving Washington.
It generally doesn't bother me because my delete button works well. It is the chore of only a few seconds to whoosh off to never-never land 24 hours worth of come-ons from Viagra peddlers, conspiracy nuts, commercial sex freaks, and the fund raising arm of the party.
It is only when I bother to read the stuff that I get disgusted enough to react, usually thusly:
"Look, you guys, if I want my intelligence insulted, I have dozens of local friends, relatives, and acquaintances I can turn to."
The feeling can be generated by a mere partial reading of the gimme letters, such as today's under the subject line: "Today is Election Day:" -- a patent piece of nonsense followed by, "From this day forward, every day is election day." Spare me.
Then come a few paragraphs of GOP virtues (vastly overstated) and Democrat vices (mostly true, or approximately so). Then the kicker, and you're undoubtedly way ahead of me here:
But the truth is we can’t win without your contribution today. Contribute $14 today to secure historic victories in 2014.
They want fourteen bucks for A.D. twenty-fourteen.
"Get it? Huh? Doyah get it?"
"Oh yeah. I see. That's a rilly cool way to write it. At least as clever as Obama's demand for a $10.10 federal minimum wage because 'It's easy to remember'."
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After substantial salaries and bonuses to the GOP functionaries, particularly those in the fundraising arm, the proceeds will be used to tune up the no'bortion trumpets, fire grape shot from the parapets at lavender-themed weddings; maybe even restore the draft to liberate Sevastopol and bring the sweet light of reason to Nigerian Boko Harams -- you know, the ones stealing and peddling virgins at twelve bucks per because America doesn't care enough to send them money.
In other words, to buy dull votes for guys like Rick Santorum who are the flip sides of, for instance, Nancy Pelosi and Justice Wisina Latina.
Never mind the problems that could, and may well, kill us.
--Let's start with the unannounced domestic assault on every dime you've managed to save -- the planned c. 2 per cent annual devaluation.
--Also the notion that it's completely our fault that Islamist thugs kidnap school girls and decapitate reporters and other undesirables.
--And that a federal SWAT team is a perfectly reasonable reaction to some screwball rancher who won't pay his grazing fees. And so on.
Send me a hustle note addressing things like that and I will, without fail, send you your fourteen bucks, probably more.
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Ancient loyalties and current observations compel me to note that the Democrats are worse. Meanwhile, I entertain myself with the probably futile dream that libertarians may one day get at least a "C-" in Politics 101.
2 comments:
I feel your pain. Down this way, we are mostly limited to Republican candidates falling all over themselves to see who can be the most conservative. Mind you, these are people running for state level offices, but saying how they will reign in the Feds. Idiots. JAGSC
Yep. I was helping cover some local elections down in Johnson County (U of Iowa) in the late 60s, and some guy running for an Iowa City office made an issue of "recognizing" Red China.
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