Over four long years, Marv and Laura grew abut 500 tons of raisins out in California. By government reckoning, that's about $700,000 dollars worth. And that's how much the government wants . The Hornes object on grounds that they bought the land and the vines, planted, cultivated, fertilized,watered, harvested and dried those little tasteies.
"Well, sure," says mommiedotguv, "but they didn't sell them right. They violated a (trumpet fanfare here) Marketing Order!"
Enter George Will, an old Cold Warrior and Buckley/Reaganite journalist. I find it odd that a guy can go months and months without seeing him cited or quoted in this libertarian corner of the internet.
It could be that most everyone considers him just too 20th Century to be worth reading anymore. It's more likely that the moderns and post-moderns find his words too hard. U no the ppl hu think lol & omg & wtf are adequate terms for any necessary exposition and all possible conditions of human emotion.
I mean, WTF!? George uses the word "recondite*" in this column about government stealing the Horne grapes. More damning, he often expresses himself in the pre-tweet fashion, writing in complete sentences and paragraphs, each bearing some relationship to its predecessor.
His news peg for this weekend article was oral argument scheduled for the Supreme Court Wednesday. The Horne lawyers will try to persuade the justices that stealing the raisins is unconstitutional, no matter what Franklin Roosevelt and his brain trust decided in 1937. Will thinks it is.
His larger point is more important. The level of government meddling and theft and general pestering is huge. But since it is so recondite, hardly anyone understands it. So bad that you are being taxed in one way or another to maintain an official spearmint oil reserve. Not to mention "almonds, apricots, avocados, cherries, cranberries, dates, grapes, hazelnuts, kiwifruit, onions, pears, pistachios, plums, spearmint oil, walnuts and other stuff."
And if you tell me you were well aware that it is in the national interest to maintain an orderly market in figs I'll call you a liar and add that your philosophy (a ) smells worse than a Syrian camel and (b) is dangerous. This dangerous:
Government sprawl and meddlesomeness mock the idea that government is transparent. There are not enough cells in the human brain to enable Americans to know more than a wee fraction of what their government is up to. If they did know, they would know something useful — how much of what government does is a compound of the simply silly and the slightly sinister. The silly: Try to imagine the peril from which we are protected because the government maintains a spearmint oil reserve. The sinister: The government is bullying and stealing property to maintain programs that make Americans pay higher commodity prices than a free market would set.
I need to thank Mr. Will for adding impetus to my campaign to be your president. It reminds me to articulate a vital plank in my agricultural reform platform.
Anyone using the term "marketing order" without obvious snide intent will be taken out and shot.
*It means abstruse.