Showing posts with label Iowa Caucuses 2012. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Iowa Caucuses 2012. Show all posts
May 16, 2011
May 14, 2011
Huckabee bails; Iowa Caucuses 2012
The Rev. Mr. Mike Huckabee of Arkansas -- preacher, ex-governor, and Fox teevee star -- says he could probably win the GOP nomination but won't run anyway. His heart says "no," and it is certainly un-Christian of me to suspect that his personal accountant endorsed the decision.
I won't miss him, despite his undeniable personal affability. I find it harmless enough that Arkansas Baptist preachers undertake to give us final, definitive, and absolute truth about God and His universe. It is only when they claim they're smart enough to administer the American civil system -- in part because they get a daily briefing from God -- that I draw the line.
This reduces to 17 the number of competing geniuses on the TMR broad-form list of caucus pests, which has been updated to reflect Huckabee's prayerful decision to keep getting richer on commercial teevee.
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Huckabee won the 2008 caucuses with about 34 per cent of the vote. You will see unbelievable huffing and puffing to attract these Iowa "values" voters. Our status as a leading wind-energy producer is safe for at least eight more months.
I won't miss him, despite his undeniable personal affability. I find it harmless enough that Arkansas Baptist preachers undertake to give us final, definitive, and absolute truth about God and His universe. It is only when they claim they're smart enough to administer the American civil system -- in part because they get a daily briefing from God -- that I draw the line.
This reduces to 17 the number of competing geniuses on the TMR broad-form list of caucus pests, which has been updated to reflect Huckabee's prayerful decision to keep getting richer on commercial teevee.
---
Huckabee won the 2008 caucuses with about 34 per cent of the vote. You will see unbelievable huffing and puffing to attract these Iowa "values" voters. Our status as a leading wind-energy producer is safe for at least eight more months.
May 7, 2011
Another sighting: Iowa Caucuses 2012
Romantic Rudy Giuliani is glancing at our cleavage. Not staring, yet, but obviously feeling a little glandular itch.
In Politico, he seems to be trying out that '50s-era pickup line of the ducktail set, "Hey, Baby, I'm no pushover, but I can be made."
Four years ago he graced us with his candidacy and finished with 4 per cent -- six points behind Ron Paul.
Lemme see if I can help you out a little, Rudy. Try to remember that pigs go oink and cows go moo, not the other way around.
EDIT: We'll keep him off the TMR caucus list for now. If becomes a little less commitment phobic, he'll earn his place there.
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In Politico, he seems to be trying out that '50s-era pickup line of the ducktail set, "Hey, Baby, I'm no pushover, but I can be made."
Four years ago he graced us with his candidacy and finished with 4 per cent -- six points behind Ron Paul.
Lemme see if I can help you out a little, Rudy. Try to remember that pigs go oink and cows go moo, not the other way around.
EDIT: We'll keep him off the TMR caucus list for now. If becomes a little less commitment phobic, he'll earn his place there.
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May 5, 2011
Thinning the herd - Iowa Caucuses 2012
Mike Pence is out, leaving 18 known or suspected common scolds to pester Iowans between now and January.
Pence says he'll run for governor of Indiana to replace Mitch Daniels, who remains at least somewhat likely to swing by Camp J and barter for my vote. I dunno, probably not, Mitch, but if you want to open the bidding with a 98 per cent, 1918 manufactured Model 1911, I suppose we could talk, assuming it comes with a half-dip magazine and original grips.
Meanwhile, your comprehensive guide to all the men and women of gold studying up on corn and beans and hogs so they can talk to us like really concerned experts has been updated.
Pence says he'll run for governor of Indiana to replace Mitch Daniels, who remains at least somewhat likely to swing by Camp J and barter for my vote. I dunno, probably not, Mitch, but if you want to open the bidding with a 98 per cent, 1918 manufactured Model 1911, I suppose we could talk, assuming it comes with a half-dip magazine and original grips.
Meanwhile, your comprehensive guide to all the men and women of gold studying up on corn and beans and hogs so they can talk to us like really concerned experts has been updated.
May 3, 2011
John Davis, already a winner; Iowa Caucuses 2012
In the TMR tally of candidate cliches, John Davis of Grand Junction, BackSlope, is the hands-down champion. No other statesman/woman competing for Iowans' attention has a prayer of closing the gap.
Among his revelations: "My family has lived in this town for six generations and I can’t imagine living anywhere else. " (That's also the site of his entry in the cliche contest.)
Which is misleading. He clearly can imagine moving to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, a long slog from his Colorado lumber yard.
That's how he has earned a place on your newly updated, handy-dandy, list of GOP luminaries practicing to say aww shucks and you bet.
He brings the total back to 19, and let it be added that there's no reason to think a lumber yard guy would do a worse job of running the country than a neighborhood organizer.
Among his revelations: "My family has lived in this town for six generations and I can’t imagine living anywhere else. " (That's also the site of his entry in the cliche contest.)
Which is misleading. He clearly can imagine moving to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, a long slog from his Colorado lumber yard.
That's how he has earned a place on your newly updated, handy-dandy, list of GOP luminaries practicing to say aww shucks and you bet.
He brings the total back to 19, and let it be added that there's no reason to think a lumber yard guy would do a worse job of running the country than a neighborhood organizer.
May 2, 2011
Poor Michele
Michele Bachmann, the congresslady who aspires to lead the Free World, lives in Stillwater, Minnesota, on the St.Croix River. The bridge from Stillwater to Houlton, Wisconsin, is going to seed, and the Washington Post is displaying a little schadenfreude at Michele's failure to get an earmark to fix it. I mean, if you can't hustle a few million federal taxpayer bucks through your fellow lawmakers, how the Hell can you cut deals with King Abdullah?
It now falls to Rep. Michele Bachmann, the congresswoman who calls Stillwater home, to finally get it done. The bridge will test whether one of the most recognizable elected officials in Washington can fulfill the most basic duty of members of Congress: delivering for the voters in their district.
Which proves the Post is at least as batshit crazy as Michele.
She took an oath to defend the Constitution. That document is strangely silent on the question of traversing the St. Croix, whether by Lexus or by birch bark canoe.
A speedy way of getting out of Minnesota is a most worthy goal, just not a federal one.
It now falls to Rep. Michele Bachmann, the congresswoman who calls Stillwater home, to finally get it done. The bridge will test whether one of the most recognizable elected officials in Washington can fulfill the most basic duty of members of Congress: delivering for the voters in their district.
Which proves the Post is at least as batshit crazy as Michele.
She took an oath to defend the Constitution. That document is strangely silent on the question of traversing the St. Croix, whether by Lexus or by birch bark canoe.
A speedy way of getting out of Minnesota is a most worthy goal, just not a federal one.
May 1, 2011
Magic politics
I could dig out one of my old press cards, slip it into my fedora, jet off to someplace I've never been. I could spend a couple of days there, talk to a few native chiefs and their subjects and then write the definitive news feature.
I could explain the "mood of the people," their strange way of life, their deepest beliefs, their aspirations. It would be printed and read worldwide. And like the Washington Post, I could expect you take it seriously, not that you should.
Reporter Michael Leahy drew the assignment and filed a lengthy, graceful, and even witty report on whom we Iowans will permit you to vote for in the joust to wrest world leadership from Barack Obama.
His journalism is not to be faulted if you are willing to accept the Heart of Darkness literary device of truth explored in a microcosm. Conrad put his his narrator and audience on a becalmed yawl. Leahy puts his in Sioux County, Iowa, and concludes that Tim Pawlenty is leading as we await the big wind. It is all very poetic as he weaves the threads of political lust into the fabric of our declared values -- God, home, hard work, and "Iowa niceness."
Ladies and Gentlemen, I think we flimflammed another one of them big-city reporters.
---
In the spring of 2008 a good evangelical state official from a place near Sioux County had been beside himself. Who should he endorse at his GOP caucus? The whole world was wondering, don't you know. The whole world got its answer when, one morning, my man sat down at my dining table and grinned, "I just got $1,000 from John McCain."
That's how it's really done.
---
Every serious aspirant to 1600 Pennsylvania has a rich PAC. Pawlenty's (Freedom First, ha-ha) has about $3 million and counting. Each PAC has a hefty Iowa allocation. Each PAC's function is to buy support. Pawlenty is a Pacman who started early, contributing to state candidates for the 2010 elections.; some $7,000 to the guy who is now our House speaker, quite a lot to our secretary of agriculture, and so forth.
---
That's a dreary dose for a bright Sunday morning, so let's return Mr. Leahy's wit as he rides around with State Senator Randy Feenstra of Hull
(Feenstra) pointed at an enormous structure through which hundreds of squatty blurry animals can be seen .... “Hog confinements,” he said brightly. “Produce manure — fantastic manure...
"Past the magic manure, Feenstra remembered something else ..."
Mr. Leahy, I bet you loved writing "magic manure" just as much as I'm going to love stealing the phrase.
I could explain the "mood of the people," their strange way of life, their deepest beliefs, their aspirations. It would be printed and read worldwide. And like the Washington Post, I could expect you take it seriously, not that you should.
Reporter Michael Leahy drew the assignment and filed a lengthy, graceful, and even witty report on whom we Iowans will permit you to vote for in the joust to wrest world leadership from Barack Obama.
His journalism is not to be faulted if you are willing to accept the Heart of Darkness literary device of truth explored in a microcosm. Conrad put his his narrator and audience on a becalmed yawl. Leahy puts his in Sioux County, Iowa, and concludes that Tim Pawlenty is leading as we await the big wind. It is all very poetic as he weaves the threads of political lust into the fabric of our declared values -- God, home, hard work, and "Iowa niceness."
Ladies and Gentlemen, I think we flimflammed another one of them big-city reporters.
---
In the spring of 2008 a good evangelical state official from a place near Sioux County had been beside himself. Who should he endorse at his GOP caucus? The whole world was wondering, don't you know. The whole world got its answer when, one morning, my man sat down at my dining table and grinned, "I just got $1,000 from John McCain."
That's how it's really done.
---
Every serious aspirant to 1600 Pennsylvania has a rich PAC. Pawlenty's (Freedom First, ha-ha) has about $3 million and counting. Each PAC has a hefty Iowa allocation. Each PAC's function is to buy support. Pawlenty is a Pacman who started early, contributing to state candidates for the 2010 elections.; some $7,000 to the guy who is now our House speaker, quite a lot to our secretary of agriculture, and so forth.
---
That's a dreary dose for a bright Sunday morning, so let's return Mr. Leahy's wit as he rides around with State Senator Randy Feenstra of Hull
(Feenstra) pointed at an enormous structure through which hundreds of squatty blurry animals can be seen .... “Hog confinements,” he said brightly. “Produce manure — fantastic manure...
"Past the magic manure, Feenstra remembered something else ..."
Mr. Leahy, I bet you loved writing "magic manure" just as much as I'm going to love stealing the phrase.
Apr 28, 2011
Ron Paul "Could Actually Win"
So says The Week.
The conventional wisdom is that Paul stands no legitimate chance, says Drew Ivers, a member of the state central committee of Iowa's Republican Party ... But 2012 could be different. Paul is "in the epicenter of the three or four or five the most critical and controversial issues in our nation today," including government spending, the war, and the financial crisis. "That's how snowballs develop...".
Dr. Ivers (PhD plant geneticist with a second masters in theology) is Paul's Iowa campaign chairman. He is heavily credentialed in the art of caucus politics. He helped handle some winning campaigns as well as losers (Robertson, Buchanan, and, in 2008, Dr. Paul.) He was a founder of the Iowa Christian Coalition, now known as Iowa Faith and Freedom Coalition.
Make what you will of the relationship between Paul and the evangelicals. I've hinted at my personal disappointment with the new coziness, but it's rock-solid that without evangelical support in the Iowa GOP caucus process, a candidate goes nowhere.
---
I hope Dr. Ivers' enthusiasm for Paul will prove to be more than the rosiness mandatory for all political operatives about their candidates' chances, that the new Iowa Paul movement can overcome the obstacles:
--Iowa has its full share of big-government conservatives, aka the WalMart vote. These are Obama's bitter clingers who, at the same time, want their social security checks, their Medicare, and, crucially, their lucrative farm subsidies. Libertarian talk scares their pants off. These are the Gingrich/Trump/Romney voters.
-- While Iowans claim to be among the best educated people in the country, the definition of that achievement can be loose. It's wonderful that Paul discusses the peril of fiat money and the tyranny of the Federal Reserve Board. That becomes politically pointless, however, when you can't find one in a dozen main-streeters capable of three coherent and unrehearsed minutes on either one.
--We're hearing things like Obama having no business in Libya because Qaddafi's oil goes to Europe, that is, gas prices in Strawberry Point are not affected by world oil supplies.
--The same principle applies to foreign policy. Can most of us find Syria on a map? Explain the high price we pay for our support of the government of Israel? Accept that there are limits to the morality and usefulness of American "power projection," even as we "support out troops?"
---
All of which suggests to me that Paul's most formidable task is as much educational as political, and the remaining eight months offer precious little time to accomplish much enlightenment, meaning the Paul race must excel at manipulating symbols. And that is what got us in this mess in the first place.
Still, I wish him well, and I'll hustle support as best I can. We may be beyond the point at which we can vote our way out of our large problems, but we might as well try.
H/T Roberta
The conventional wisdom is that Paul stands no legitimate chance, says Drew Ivers, a member of the state central committee of Iowa's Republican Party ... But 2012 could be different. Paul is "in the epicenter of the three or four or five the most critical and controversial issues in our nation today," including government spending, the war, and the financial crisis. "That's how snowballs develop...".
Dr. Ivers (PhD plant geneticist with a second masters in theology) is Paul's Iowa campaign chairman. He is heavily credentialed in the art of caucus politics. He helped handle some winning campaigns as well as losers (Robertson, Buchanan, and, in 2008, Dr. Paul.) He was a founder of the Iowa Christian Coalition, now known as Iowa Faith and Freedom Coalition.
Make what you will of the relationship between Paul and the evangelicals. I've hinted at my personal disappointment with the new coziness, but it's rock-solid that without evangelical support in the Iowa GOP caucus process, a candidate goes nowhere.
---
I hope Dr. Ivers' enthusiasm for Paul will prove to be more than the rosiness mandatory for all political operatives about their candidates' chances, that the new Iowa Paul movement can overcome the obstacles:
--Iowa has its full share of big-government conservatives, aka the WalMart vote. These are Obama's bitter clingers who, at the same time, want their social security checks, their Medicare, and, crucially, their lucrative farm subsidies. Libertarian talk scares their pants off. These are the Gingrich/Trump/Romney voters.
-- While Iowans claim to be among the best educated people in the country, the definition of that achievement can be loose. It's wonderful that Paul discusses the peril of fiat money and the tyranny of the Federal Reserve Board. That becomes politically pointless, however, when you can't find one in a dozen main-streeters capable of three coherent and unrehearsed minutes on either one.
--We're hearing things like Obama having no business in Libya because Qaddafi's oil goes to Europe, that is, gas prices in Strawberry Point are not affected by world oil supplies.
--The same principle applies to foreign policy. Can most of us find Syria on a map? Explain the high price we pay for our support of the government of Israel? Accept that there are limits to the morality and usefulness of American "power projection," even as we "support out troops?"
---
All of which suggests to me that Paul's most formidable task is as much educational as political, and the remaining eight months offer precious little time to accomplish much enlightenment, meaning the Paul race must excel at manipulating symbols. And that is what got us in this mess in the first place.
Still, I wish him well, and I'll hustle support as best I can. We may be beyond the point at which we can vote our way out of our large problems, but we might as well try.
H/T Roberta
Apr 26, 2011
Ron Paul makes it official
No one is surprised. The good doctor is to announce something in Des Moines this afternoon, and if it isn't formation of a White House exploratory committee I'll kiss your arse on the steps of the Cato Institute and give you time to get Chris Mathews and his camera crew to the ceremony.
Ron Paul's 2008 caucus vote was 9+ per cent. Without Gary Johnson and a couple of even more minor candidates making libertarian noises, Paul would do better this time for three reasons: (1) He's learned from his 2008 organizational mistakes, mainly frittering away money. (2) He is actively courting the evangelical right with a harder pro-life position. (3) Libertarian thinking has become less outre after two Obama years which gave even the unwashed a glimpse of what a statist future really holds.
If Johnson perseveres, he'll get a good measure of the Paul vote. Cain and Trump will also get pieces of it. If we use the caucus vote to measure the advance of liberty thinking, adding the Paul and Moore tallies will probably be the best we can do.
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I'll jump the gun a little and make the day's second edit of your vital list of Air Force 1 aspirants. (Link fixed.)
Rand is out. He was never much more than a velleity among the small set which prefers younger libertarian heads, balmed with Brylcreem.
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UPDATE: Ron Paul did the expected.
Ron Paul's 2008 caucus vote was 9+ per cent. Without Gary Johnson and a couple of even more minor candidates making libertarian noises, Paul would do better this time for three reasons: (1) He's learned from his 2008 organizational mistakes, mainly frittering away money. (2) He is actively courting the evangelical right with a harder pro-life position. (3) Libertarian thinking has become less outre after two Obama years which gave even the unwashed a glimpse of what a statist future really holds.
If Johnson perseveres, he'll get a good measure of the Paul vote. Cain and Trump will also get pieces of it. If we use the caucus vote to measure the advance of liberty thinking, adding the Paul and Moore tallies will probably be the best we can do.
---
I'll jump the gun a little and make the day's second edit of your vital list of Air Force 1 aspirants. (Link fixed.)
Rand is out. He was never much more than a velleity among the small set which prefers younger libertarian heads, balmed with Brylcreem.
---
UPDATE: Ron Paul did the expected.
Iowa Caucuses 2002; Culling the herd
Haley Barbour of Mississippi is out despite a solid tie for third in the latest GOP coolest-hair polls. (He and Michele trailed only Don and Sarah.)
Now, dropping out is often a tactic for dropping back in (beg me, please beg me) but Haley probably means it. He claims no fire in his belly, code for "I haven't got a prayer."
The remaining supplicants here in Grant Wood Bucolia now total 19, including the firebellied certains, the probables, the possibles, and a few who have, at most, a little smoldering navel lint.
Your indispensable master list of mental giants seeking to lead the Free World has been updated.
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Now, dropping out is often a tactic for dropping back in (beg me, please beg me) but Haley probably means it. He claims no fire in his belly, code for "I haven't got a prayer."
The remaining supplicants here in Grant Wood Bucolia now total 19, including the firebellied certains, the probables, the possibles, and a few who have, at most, a little smoldering navel lint.
Your indispensable master list of mental giants seeking to lead the Free World has been updated.
.
Apr 22, 2011
Captain America for President? Iowa Caucuses 2012
Gary Johnson has made it official. He'll spend a little less time bicycling and ciimbing Mt. Everest and a little more running for president. He's hobnobbed among us rustics and promises to return.
Johnson is a contractor turned New Mexico governor where he performed some libertarian acts, notably wearing out a few pens vetoing spending bills. He thinks the war on drugs is a crazy spoof of logic, that the reach of the tax man is too broad and too deep, and that a nation can get in trouble tailoring its laws to the demands of the teevee preachers.
He's treading Ron Paul turf, though Paul is hugging our evangelical right on the abortion issue this time around.
Johnson's entry brings number of aspirants to at least18 20, and your handy list of caucus candidates has been updated.
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Johnson is a contractor turned New Mexico governor where he performed some libertarian acts, notably wearing out a few pens vetoing spending bills. He thinks the war on drugs is a crazy spoof of logic, that the reach of the tax man is too broad and too deep, and that a nation can get in trouble tailoring its laws to the demands of the teevee preachers.
He's treading Ron Paul turf, though Paul is hugging our evangelical right on the abortion issue this time around.
Johnson's entry brings number of aspirants to at least
.
Apr 19, 2011
Another one with Heaven on speed-dial; Iowa Caucuses 2012
We're up to 17 GOP contenders now with presence of another stalwart from the Bennie Hinn wing of modern American political philosophy.
He's former Judge Roy Moore of Alabama, two-time loser in governor races there and most notable for (a) refusing to remove a Ten Commandments plaque from his court house and (b) deciding that the most crucial national policy need of the century is worrying about what gays do.
(I hear he thinks both Mr. Standard and Mr. Poor were born in Kenya.)
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(Your handy Iowa candidate master list has been edited to add Judge Moore.)
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He's former Judge Roy Moore of Alabama, two-time loser in governor races there and most notable for (a) refusing to remove a Ten Commandments plaque from his court house and (b) deciding that the most crucial national policy need of the century is worrying about what gays do.
(I hear he thinks both Mr. Standard and Mr. Poor were born in Kenya.)
---
(Your handy Iowa candidate master list has been edited to add Judge Moore.)
.
Apr 15, 2011
Herding Elephants: Iowa Caucus Clip'n Save
Even dedicated political geeks have a hard time keeping track of all the White House hopefuls trying out their pickup lines in Iowa. For one thing, it is hard to find a complete list of the serious, semi-serious, and loony trying on overalls and looking for a comfortable hay-bale perch. So, here's an alphabetical list of these statesmen as culled from published sources, but I haven't gotten around to ferreting out all of the more obscure dimwaddiedoowops yet.
---------------------
--Michele Bachmann, 55, congresswoman, Minnesota
--(OUT) Haley Barbour, 64, Mississippi governor (Dropped out April 25)
--John Bolton, 63, former ambassador, Bush II's point man in Iraq
--Herman Cain, 66, Godfather's Pizza
-- (OUT) Mitch Daniels, 62, Indiana governor (dropped May 21)
--John Davis of Grand Junction, Colorado, lumber yard owner, builder (added May 3)
--Newt Gingrich, 68, former U.S. House speaker, Georgia
--(OUT) Mike Huckabee, 56, former Arkansas governor, Fox teevee star (dropped May 15)
--Jon Huntsman, 51, former Utah governor, ambassador to China
--Gary Johnson, 43, former New Mexico governor (added 4/22/11)
--Judge Roy Moore, 64, disrobed, two-time loser for Alabama governor (added 4/19/11)
--Sarah Palin, 47, former Alaska governor, VP candidate 2008
--(OUT) Rand Paul, 48, Kentucky U.S. senator (if his dad opts out). (Dropped April 26 in anticipation of Ron's formal "in" announcement.)
--Ron Paul, 75, Texas congressman, former LP presidential candidate
--Tim Pawlenty, 51, former Minnesota governor
--(OUT) Mike Pence, 52, Indiana congressman (dropped May 15)
--Rick Perry, 61, Texas governor, (added June 19)
--Buddy Roemer, 68, former Louisiana governor
--Mitt Romney, 64, former Massachusetts governor
--Rick Santorum, 53, former U.S. senator, Pennsylvania
--( OUT?) John thune, South Dakota senator. (Dropped from list,with reservations, May 21)
--(OUT) Donald Trump, 65, businessman, casino operator, teevee star (dropped May 16)
-0-
The list will change, and I'll try to keep it more or less up to date.
EDIT: May 5:Red ink identifies those who bailed after having been considered players or possibles. I thought of just deleting them, but that seems so cold.
EDIT: John Thune was Xed out May 21. He said in February he wouldn't run, but the weasel words (not planning at this time, etc.) suggested he desired begging. No one has begged yet, and he hasn't been spotted scouting our hog lots, so TMR crosses him off with the caution that things are silly enough that he might change his mind.)
---------------------
--Michele Bachmann, 55, congresswoman, Minnesota
--(OUT) Haley Barbour, 64, Mississippi governor (Dropped out April 25)
--John Bolton, 63, former ambassador, Bush II's point man in Iraq
--Herman Cain, 66, Godfather's Pizza
-- (OUT) Mitch Daniels, 62, Indiana governor (dropped May 21)
--John Davis of Grand Junction, Colorado, lumber yard owner, builder (added May 3)
--Newt Gingrich, 68, former U.S. House speaker, Georgia
--(OUT) Mike Huckabee, 56, former Arkansas governor, Fox teevee star (dropped May 15)
--Jon Huntsman, 51, former Utah governor, ambassador to China
--Gary Johnson, 43, former New Mexico governor (added 4/22/11)
--Judge Roy Moore, 64, disrobed, two-time loser for Alabama governor (added 4/19/11)
--Sarah Palin, 47, former Alaska governor, VP candidate 2008
--(OUT) Rand Paul, 48, Kentucky U.S. senator (if his dad opts out). (Dropped April 26 in anticipation of Ron's formal "in" announcement.)
--Ron Paul, 75, Texas congressman, former LP presidential candidate
--Tim Pawlenty, 51, former Minnesota governor
--(OUT) Mike Pence, 52, Indiana congressman (dropped May 15)
--Rick Perry, 61, Texas governor, (added June 19)
--Buddy Roemer, 68, former Louisiana governor
--Mitt Romney, 64, former Massachusetts governor
--Rick Santorum, 53, former U.S. senator, Pennsylvania
--( OUT?) John thune, South Dakota senator. (Dropped from list,with reservations, May 21)
--(OUT) Donald Trump, 65, businessman, casino operator, teevee star (dropped May 16)
-0-
The list will change, and I'll try to keep it more or less up to date.
EDIT: May 5:Red ink identifies those who bailed after having been considered players or possibles. I thought of just deleting them, but that seems so cold.
EDIT: John Thune was Xed out May 21. He said in February he wouldn't run, but the weasel words (not planning at this time, etc.) suggested he desired begging. No one has begged yet, and he hasn't been spotted scouting our hog lots, so TMR crosses him off with the caution that things are silly enough that he might change his mind.)
,
Apr 12, 2011
Iowa Caucus Sidebar
The United States of America hasn't had an ugly president since Richard Nixon, and he got elected because his actual 1968 opponent was Abbie Hoffman, even uglier.
We've noticed that most of the GOP contenders infesting Iowa these days -- and all the faves -- are rather attractive people who look really nice on television, even Donald Trump (Kookie, Kookie, Lend Me Your comb).
It's hard to be confident that a good result will follow electoral strategies derived from What Not to Wear and recent advice from the Hair Club for Men and L'Oreal.
We've noticed that most of the GOP contenders infesting Iowa these days -- and all the faves -- are rather attractive people who look really nice on television, even Donald Trump (Kookie, Kookie, Lend Me Your comb).
It's hard to be confident that a good result will follow electoral strategies derived from What Not to Wear and recent advice from the Hair Club for Men and L'Oreal.
Apr 7, 2011
STEEEEE-RIKE ONE on Tim Pawlenty
You don't screw around with Hawkeyes. We like our sleep and we have guns.
Iowa proudly claims the honor of hosting the first presidential wannabe staff scandal of the year, thanks to Pawlenty aide Ben Foster who, the reports say, drank into the wee hours and forgot where he lived. He then wound up 10 miles from home where, at 3 a.m., he banged on the door of a house that must have looked about right. The homeowner held him at gunpoint. The cops were called. They charged Ben with a couple of misdemeanors either before or after he barfed on the deck.
Odd. Ben hails from Alabama, and I thought those good ol' boys taught their kids to hold their liquor.
(Tim is already on the running TMR list of Iowa caucus hopefuls. You may remember him from there as the small-government conservative, except for guys who own big-time sports teams and are therefore entitled to free stadiums.)
Iowa proudly claims the honor of hosting the first presidential wannabe staff scandal of the year, thanks to Pawlenty aide Ben Foster who, the reports say, drank into the wee hours and forgot where he lived. He then wound up 10 miles from home where, at 3 a.m., he banged on the door of a house that must have looked about right. The homeowner held him at gunpoint. The cops were called. They charged Ben with a couple of misdemeanors either before or after he barfed on the deck.
Odd. Ben hails from Alabama, and I thought those good ol' boys taught their kids to hold their liquor.
(Tim is already on the running TMR list of Iowa caucus hopefuls. You may remember him from there as the small-government conservative, except for guys who own big-time sports teams and are therefore entitled to free stadiums.)
Apr 6, 2011
Programs! Get your programs here! (con't.)
Chapter Two in the TMR tome subtitled, "Who Us Iowans Will Allow You to Vote For For President of Us and the Other 56 States." Chapter One covered five of the yawners, all nominally male though not necessarily testiculated.
The two girls in the running have wandered in over the past few months. One of them is attractive. The other is interesting.
Sarah Palin: Even in western Iowa, Sarah will probably never recover from claiming foreign policy credentials because of her ability to see Russia from Alaska. The same applies to her identification of Africa as a country. A plurality of Iowans is proud to know better.
Mrs.Palin is lovely, vivacious, and many of us lust for an invitation to help her hunt her moose. Unfortunately that's not enough to overcome an atavistic fear of turning the country over to someone whose library card is assessed an inactivity fee.
Her other problem is that she seems far more interested in being in the Fortune 500 than in the White House. (Her last Iowa appearance was a book-signing session in a Wal-Mart near me.)
Michelle Bachmann: It is presumptuous to write her off as "batshit crazy," even though her default mode is loaded with eye-rollers. The one-word descriptive is "ignorant." If Sarah's library card is dusty, Michelle never had one. If she attended high-school history classes, her teacher was the basketball coach.
But she is dead serious about becoming our president, concentrating on one of the great natural constituencies around here, the anti-gay, anti-abortion evangelicals. She talks to them all at every opportunity, knowing their power to pack and control the Iowa caucuses as they did in 2008 when we presented you with the Rev. Mr. Huckabee on a platter. If you require further proof of her ambition, she has just hired a guy named Wes Enos, Huckabee's 2008 Iowa political director.
I describe her as interesting because Michelle is a political flowering of some of the strangest theology ever to cross the minds of shamans anywhere, going back to the mystics of ancient history and continuing through moderns such as Tim LaHaye. I'm sure she doesn't know that, any more than she knows the location of the shot heard 'round the world. But she understands in the shrewdest possible way its vote-getting power in an age where our masters are supremely interested in engaging our emotions rather than our logical thought processes.
---
Yes, I will get around to Ron Paul before long. He is not being as bluntly snubbed as he was in the last go-round.
The two girls in the running have wandered in over the past few months. One of them is attractive. The other is interesting.
Sarah Palin: Even in western Iowa, Sarah will probably never recover from claiming foreign policy credentials because of her ability to see Russia from Alaska. The same applies to her identification of Africa as a country. A plurality of Iowans is proud to know better.
Mrs.Palin is lovely, vivacious, and many of us lust for an invitation to help her hunt her moose. Unfortunately that's not enough to overcome an atavistic fear of turning the country over to someone whose library card is assessed an inactivity fee.
Her other problem is that she seems far more interested in being in the Fortune 500 than in the White House. (Her last Iowa appearance was a book-signing session in a Wal-Mart near me.)
Michelle Bachmann: It is presumptuous to write her off as "batshit crazy," even though her default mode is loaded with eye-rollers. The one-word descriptive is "ignorant." If Sarah's library card is dusty, Michelle never had one. If she attended high-school history classes, her teacher was the basketball coach.
But she is dead serious about becoming our president, concentrating on one of the great natural constituencies around here, the anti-gay, anti-abortion evangelicals. She talks to them all at every opportunity, knowing their power to pack and control the Iowa caucuses as they did in 2008 when we presented you with the Rev. Mr. Huckabee on a platter. If you require further proof of her ambition, she has just hired a guy named Wes Enos, Huckabee's 2008 Iowa political director.
I describe her as interesting because Michelle is a political flowering of some of the strangest theology ever to cross the minds of shamans anywhere, going back to the mystics of ancient history and continuing through moderns such as Tim LaHaye. I'm sure she doesn't know that, any more than she knows the location of the shot heard 'round the world. But she understands in the shrewdest possible way its vote-getting power in an age where our masters are supremely interested in engaging our emotions rather than our logical thought processes.
---
Yes, I will get around to Ron Paul before long. He is not being as bluntly snubbed as he was in the last go-round.
Mar 7, 2011
Programs! Get your programs here!
Five of them are in Iowa tonight. They make up about half of the crowd of Republicans who think they know how to regulate you and will say anything, promise anything, for your agreement.
Reporters are estimating the attendance in a Waukee church at some 800, not counting hundreds of big-city journalists functioning this evening as ethnologists examining the rustic tribes of Bucolia.
Tonight's five are paying obeisance to the sponsoring "Iowa Faith and Freedom (sic) Council," one of the several political/evangelical operations which rule the Iowa poitical roost.
They are:
--Herman Cain, The Godfather. Widely suspected as the perpetrator of the first pineapple pizza.
--Newt Gingrich who, in the absence of Sarah Palin, is functioning as Rock Star pro tem.
--Tim Pawlenty, successor to Jesse Ventura, believer in small government except for free stadiums for professional sports moguls and tax-financed light rail systems.
--Buddy Roemer, a plantation-raised former Democrat and Louisiana governor. He decides things after snapping the rubber band on his wrist. cf. Marie LaVeau
--Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania who, however sanctified, is just plain weird, a living lesson in the harm done by sniffing the Pittsburgh coal dust.
It's going to be a long eleven months
TBC.
Reporters are estimating the attendance in a Waukee church at some 800, not counting hundreds of big-city journalists functioning this evening as ethnologists examining the rustic tribes of Bucolia.
Tonight's five are paying obeisance to the sponsoring "Iowa Faith and Freedom (sic) Council," one of the several political/evangelical operations which rule the Iowa poitical roost.
They are:
--Herman Cain, The Godfather. Widely suspected as the perpetrator of the first pineapple pizza.
--Newt Gingrich who, in the absence of Sarah Palin, is functioning as Rock Star pro tem.
--Tim Pawlenty, successor to Jesse Ventura, believer in small government except for free stadiums for professional sports moguls and tax-financed light rail systems.
--Buddy Roemer, a plantation-raised former Democrat and Louisiana governor. He decides things after snapping the rubber band on his wrist. cf. Marie LaVeau
--Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania who, however sanctified, is just plain weird, a living lesson in the harm done by sniffing the Pittsburgh coal dust.
It's going to be a long eleven months
TBC.
Jan 25, 2011
Battle of the Goodbods
Michelle finally has her name up in lights. All America gazes at the marquee. "Bachman Rebuts!"
Meanwhile, Sarah reloads.
It's an American Idol spinoff. Swimsuit and complexion judges will be required to award the relatively elderly Mrs. Bachman an eight-year seniority handicap.
It's going to be a strange primary season.
Meanwhile, Sarah reloads.
It's an American Idol spinoff. Swimsuit and complexion judges will be required to award the relatively elderly Mrs. Bachman an eight-year seniority handicap.
It's going to be a strange primary season.
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