Herding the Elephants Update -- Iowa Caucuses 2012

Bumped up for convenience again, and including an  adieu to Ms. Palin:

Also, it's nearing the time to create a cleaner list -- retaining only those candidates still twitching with residual life. It's high on the to-do list for a time when our northern plains weather is less lovely.

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(Bumped up, just for convenience.)

Even dedicated political geeks have a hard time keeping track of all the White House hopefuls trying out their pickup lines in Iowa. For one thing, it is hard to find a complete list of the serious, semi-serious,  and loony  trying on overalls and looking for a comfortable hay-bale perch.  So, here's an alphabetical list of these statesmen as culled from published sources, but I haven't gotten around to ferreting out all of the more obscure dimwaddiedoowops yet. 

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--Michele Bachmann, 55,  congresswoman, Minnesota


--(OUT) Haley Barbour, 64, Mississippi governor (Dropped out April 25)


--John Bolton,  63, former ambassador, Bush II's point man in Iraq. (Dropped out September 26.) 


-- (OUT) Herman Cain, 66, Godfather's Pizza. (Dropped out -- "suspendd campaign"  -- December 3


-- (OUT) Mitch Daniels, 62, Indiana governor (dropped May 21)


--John Davis of Grand Junction, Colorado, lumber yard owner, builder (added May 3)


--Newt Gingrich,  68, former U.S. House speaker, Georgia


--(OUT) Mike Huckabee, 56, former Arkansas governor, Fox teevee star (dropped May 15)


--Jon Huntsman, 51, former Utah governor,  ambassador to China


--Gary Johnson, 43, former New Mexico governor (added April 22)

--Fred Karger, California, GOP politcal consultant, openly gay. (Added August 14)

--(OUT) Thaddeus George "Thad" McCotter, 45,  Michigan congressman (added June 24, dropped out September 22.) 

--Judge Roy Moore, 64, disrobed, two-time loser for Alabama governor  (added May 19)


--Sarah Palin,  47, former Alaska governor, VP candidate 2008 (Out. Withdrew   Oct. 5.)

--(OUT) George Pataki, 66, former New York governor. (Added august 25 and dropped August 26) 

--(OUT) Rand Paul, 48, Kentucky U.S. senator (if  his dad opts out).  (Dropped April 26 in anticipation of Ron's formal "in" announcement)


  
--Ron Paul, 75, Texas congressman, former LP presidential candidate


--Tim Pawlenty,  51, former  Minnesota governor (Dropped August 14; withdrew after Ames straw poll)


--(OUT)  Mike Pence, 52, Indiana congressman (dropped May 15)


--Rick Perry, 61, Texas governor, (added June 19)


--Buddy Roemer, 68, former Louisiana governor


--Mitt Romney, 64, former Massachusetts governor


--Rick Santorum,  53, former U.S. senator, Pennsylvania


--( OUT?) John thune, South Dakota senator. (Dropped from list,with reservations, May 21)


--(OUT) Donald Trump, 65, businessman, casino operator, teevee star (dropped May 16) 

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The list will change, and I'll try to keep it more or less up to date.

EDIT: May 5:Red ink identifies those who bailed after having been considered players or possibles.  I thought of just deleting them, but that seems so cold.

EDIT: John Thune was Xed out May 21. He said in February he wouldn't run, but the weasel words(not planning at this time, etc.)suggested he desired begging. No one has  begged yet,  and he hasn't been spotted scouting our hog lots, so TMR crosses him off with the caution that things are silly enough that he might change his mind.)

Michele at Grinnell, The Voiltaire Perspective

I'll be glad to join a protest against the kind of culture which allows people like Michele Bachmann  to be taken seriously as secular leaders. I'll wave a sign against empowering the Morals Police. I'll chant slogans against  requiring kids to be taught that creationism is an exact science.  If the weather is nice I'll join a nude flash mob opposing foreign adventurism,  nation-building, and the designated hitter rule.

Those kinds of statist stupidites ought to be the subject of protest, 24/7/365, in one way or another.

But the wholesale creation of a new generation of Cotton Mathers is not  very directly Michele's fault.  If she panders to the dimdippitydoowops who make up the Neocon Right, she is merely reacting to market forces in her industry,  just like Barack Obama does on the flipside of the same political racket.

I will not join a protest designed to shut her up, and I like to think that even if I were one of  a starry-eyed liberals infesting the city of Grinnell, Iowa, and its famously  collectivist college, I would have retained enough respect for Amendment One to shut up and let her prate.

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Both sides handled the aftermath stupidly if media reports are anywhere near accurate.. Bachmann's Iowa handler,  Danny Carroll,  claimed, almost certainly falsely, that the pumpkin farm gathering was always intended to be a strictly private fundraiser. The students claimed, almost certainly falsely, that they had gathered to listen respectfully to Bachmann's remarks.

Michele mingled with the visitors who coughed up $25 to be there, strolled around the  farm quickly, and left.  But not before feeding a goat, speaking of pandering.

Theological Question

This comes to mind after bantering with my daughter about Midwest  church-basement cuisine.


"Were there any Lutherans before there were crock pots?"

Why we're broke

A couple of Des Moines cops drew a crucial crime-fighting assignment. Armed with tactical video equipment, they deployed to the Ingersoll Theatre to watch the old-timey burlesque show -- like the one your great grandpa snuck into after telling Great Gram he was heading for Oddfellows Hall.

The infiltrating Only Ones  had orders to capture evidence of exposure of a nipple or "anything below." They got it.

As one of the dancers tells the tale, she was doing a classic balloon dance when a Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction victimized her. A bubble accidentally  popped, giving the leering audience a flash of pastie.

The cops left. They "reviewed" the tape for a long time. (Stop smirking). They  returned to write the citations. The dancers will talk to the ACLU. Our courts are bracing for the Trial of the Century.

I don't know about you, but this assault on public titillation certainly fills me with a renewed appreciation for my government's dedication to, at any cost, shielding me from impurity.

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Des Moines city fathers promised that their new robotic speed and stop-light cameras would compensate for their rape of the  14th Amendment  by freeing police for more vital duties.  Voila.
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