ALERT! Emergency Grips Nation; Senators Vow Action

The Big 12 crisis escalated sharply this week when Louisvile (a Kentucky school of sorts) became suspected of sabotaging University of West Virginia plans to join the conference.  It quickly became a matter of vital national interest .

At least that seems to be the opinion of the two senators from West Virginia, Jay Rockefeller and Joe Manchin, who say they’ll do whatever it takes to fulfill the mission, even if it means a Congressional investigation. 


Look, you idiotic gobshites, this is not the kind of thing we pay senators for.

----

Dr. Rand Paul to the ramparts. STAT.

The GOP follies, hog lot editon; Iowa Caucuses 2012

It's all set, gang. Florida and Nevada hang their heads in repentant shame, meaning  the Iowa Caucuses will not be held on Christmas Eve: The schedule:

January 3 -- Iowa caucuses

January 10 -- Hew Hampshire primary

January 21 -- South Carolina primary

January 31 -- Florida primary

February 4 -- Nevada caucuses

---

Those of you with a bent for history will wish to note that Iowans caucus on the anniversary of Martin Luther's excommunication by Pope Leo X, leading directly to development of of the church basement dinner and, ultimately, invention of the crock pot.

In New Hampshire,  Republicans will vote on the date of Thomas Paine's publication of "Common Sense." They will choose Mitt Romney, proving that Paine's literary effort ultimately came to nought.

The South Carolina vote celebrates the birthday of John M. Browning, PBUH. He deserves better.

The Florida geezers will interfere with what should be a solemn commemoration. On January 31, 1606, the English executed Guy Fawkes  and his buddies for trying to blow up King and Parliament.  C'mon, Your Lordships. Should have been noll prossed or, at worst, tried as a simple misdemeanor.

The Nevada caucuses occur on the date Benjamin Palmer patented the artificial leg. This is politically important, leading as it did to a  Chicago development where Democrats were inspired to patent the artificial vote.

John M. Browning, economist

A fine internet  perk is running across things far more valuable than what you were  looking for. I was Binging for an insignificant detail about John M. Browning and found a passage about him at age 13 or so.

A freighter stopped by his dad's gun works and gave John M. a "high-quality shotgun" which had been smashed up. The boy set out to renew it. His first efforts fizzled.

"Finally the idea came. A good idea starts a celebration in the mind, and every nerve in the body seems to crowd up to see the fireworks. It was a good idea, one of the best I ever had, and so simple it made me ashamed of myself. Boylike, I had been trying to do the job all at once with some kind of magic. And magic never made a gun that would work.* I decided to take the gun apart, piece by piece, down to the last small screw, even though [the] parts that were mashed and twisted together. And when I did, finally finishing long after supper that night, the pieces all spread out before me on the bench, I examined each piece and discovered that there wasn't one that I couldn't make myself, if I had too. If I had been in school that day, I would have missed a valuable lesson"


---


*Or an economy, either,  he surely would have said if someone had asked him.


---


I probably would have found that less striking if I hadn't just reviewed the magical incantations about the Greek bailout.

---

Thank you Ron Shirtz

The Keystone Pipeline

I am undertaking a study of the Keystone Pipeline controversy. When you do something like that it is a good idea to examine the basic mindset of the opponents. 

I conclude that pipeline naysayers know that a candle of biodegradable soybean wax is a near-perfect accompaniment to a romantic dinner with Jean Seberg. 

A series of logical steps takes them from there to belief it is also useful for powering Consolidated  Edison's dynamos.