Oct 29, 2011

Irish eyes got bleary

So, Padraig. So Brigid -- me brothers and sisters of the old sod -- you've got yourselves a new president, have ya?

And doesn't our own Associated Press say the Mike Higgens ya behinded is "a veteran left-wing politician, poet and human rights activist, ... pledged to lift the spirits of a struggling nation."


And ain't ya the fools, ya babblin', ballad-singin'  bog trotters. By Jayzus, Mary, and Joseph ya can lift your own spirits if ya open your bleedin' eyes and notice that your pockets are empty as the head of a Limey leftenant but you're still spending like the lairds who stole Ulster.

Ya didn't need a rhyme-prating, warmed-over socialist now did ya? And what it was ya needed was a fokken certified public account,  didn't ya now? And don't I -- son of sons of Leinster pike men -- call it gobshittery?

You're supposed to fleece American tourists down around Blarney Castle, not kiss the fokken rock yourselves and vote in the bloody arses who french it every day.

Oct 28, 2011

Say, is that ol' 4th Amendment starting to breathe again?

I told you Iowa was still free soil, more or less. Free-ish, anyway.

A cop stops you for some piddling offense. He resolves that and wonders, "Now, you don't mind if I go fishing take a quick look in your car do you Sir?"

You nod "okay" because Officer Friendly, what with his big pistol and creaky leather, club, Mace, and all can look pretty intimidating. And he seems nice enough. He asked nicely and called you "sir," didn't he?

Then he found that pinch of pot you must have forgotten to take out of the pickup. You're busted, cuffed, and in for a ride to town because you didn't say, "No thanks, Officer." After you think about it in the tank for a while you realize you  were flim-flammed and decide to take it all the way to the the state supreme court. You did, and

Justices in a 5-1 decision stopped just short of instituting new rules for Iowa law enforcement agents but strongly signaled their view that traffic stops on the side of public highways are “inherently coercive” and therefore can give rise to improper pressure on motorists to agree to vehicle searches.


They ruled the search illegal and the "evidence" therefore inadmissible. They said:


Iowa police officers would do well – but are not yet required – to warn motorists that they don’t have to let authorities search their vehicles during minor traffic stops, the Iowa Supreme Court ruled this morning.


The dissenting justice said:

(a) He didn't want to handicap the police. (He's apparently fine with handicapping the Constitution and the citizens whom it was created to protect -- from the police, among others).

(b) His view is closer to the federal government's opinion.  (Good God, man, you consider that a virtue?)

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Note to the motorist involved here: Glad you won it. Now get off the pot. Stoners tend to screw up their lives at a higher rate than folks who can handle reality.

ALERT! Emergency Grips Nation; Senators Vow Action

The Big 12 crisis escalated sharply this week when Louisvile (a Kentucky school of sorts) became suspected of sabotaging University of West Virginia plans to join the conference.  It quickly became a matter of vital national interest .

The GOP follies, hog lot editon; Iowa Caucuses 2012

It's all set, gang. Florida and Nevada hang their heads in repentant shame, meaning  the Iowa Caucuses will not be held on Christmas Eve: The schedule:

January 3 -- Iowa caucuses

January 10 -- Hew Hampshire primary

January 21 -- South Carolina primary

January 31 -- Florida primary

February 4 -- Nevada caucuses

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Those of you with a bent for history will wish to note that Iowans caucus on the anniversary of Martin Luther's excommunication by Pope Leo X, leading directly to development of of the church basement dinner and, ultimately, invention of the crock pot.

In New Hampshire,  Republicans will vote on the date of Thomas Paine's publication of "Common Sense." They will choose Mitt Romney, proving that Paine's literary effort ultimately came to nought.

The South Carolina vote celebrates the birthday of John M. Browning, PBUH. He deserves better.

The Florida geezers will interfere with what should be a solemn commemoration. On January 31, 1606, the English executed Guy Fawkes  and his buddies for trying to blow up King and Parliament.  C'mon, Your Lordships. Should have been noll prossed or, at worst, tried as a simple misdemeanor.

The Nevada caucuses occur on the date Benjamin Palmer patented the artificial leg. This is politically important, leading as it did to a  Chicago development where Democrats were inspired to patent the artificial vote.