Part One of this little essay was inspired by a serous squabble in the political-huckster subset of organized Iowa Christendom. It is a fuss about "pay-for-my-pulpit" questions.
Dissension rules the pews. Then high priests and ward heelers in the Temple of the Van Der Platas Peeps are torn among the GOP candidates. Who, among Bachmann, Gingrich, Perry, and Santorum, is sufficiently sanctified to qualify for a temp job administering the government of the United States?
The schism threatens the temporal ambitions of high deacons. If their sheep cannot be driven to unity, the movement's caucus endorsements become a swill too weak to propel the self-appointed deacons to the worldly status of a Pat Robertson, or Jerry Falwell, or Jimmy Swaggart before he was caught one-handed.
The ambitious Bob Van Der Plaats leads the umbrella political/evangelical organization, The Family Leader. He has three times run for governor and lost -- once on a platform including outlawing gay marriage by administrative decree. His single success came in an off-year of defeat three Iowa Supreme Court justices who were part of a unanimous decision that a state gay-marriage ban violated the state Constitution.
(His signature concern is a nation of well-policed orifices.)
Ousting the judges was enough to keep him on Page One and nourish his lust to be a presidential kingmaker. And to some day have a national teevee co-preacher built along the lines of Salome, or perhaps Tammy Faye? To have his very own Heritage USA, speaking of Mrs. Bakker?
---
2011 has not been good to Mr. Van Der Plaats. There are simply too many theocratic panderers on the caucus stage, each with unswayable ardents, making a Van Der Plaats blessing a case of "So what?" And that he can not abide, so he took action, and here's where things get murky.
He personally endorsed Santorum. He may or may not have put a price tag on his anointment. One million dollars is the usually reported number for the alleged heist attempt. Van Der Plaats says he didn't do it, but even if he did it was simply money necessary to "promote" his decision.
About the same time, he rang up the Bachmann campaign. Again, what he asked or offered is foggy. He did, or did not demand she withdraw in favor of Santorum. He denies it. Others claim otherwise.
He said. She said. All in the name of a holy outcome on the night of January 3.
---
Political sausage is ugly enough in its secular form, and it is not improved by random ingredients from every denominational hustler who claims to be first on God's speed-dial list.
If we continue to confuse a government with a religion we can confidently predict a future federal law specifying the number of virgins we must sacrifice to make it rain.
Dec 23, 2011
To arms! Man the barricades! Save the '03 Springfields!
For decades the Fort Snelling Memorial Rifle Squad has been honoring deceased veterans with the hallowed three-volley rifle salute. As a matter of tradition and preference it has used the United States Rifle, Caliber .30-06, Model 1903.
Now some tax-sucking Sad Sack furshlugginer chair-warming feather merchant gold brick of an REMF wants to take the '03 Springfields back and give the boys them new-fangled M1 Garands.
Give up that soothing "snickity-snack-smack" of a well-lubed and competently handled '03 action? Suffer the excruciating pain of the M1 thumb? All because some moldy asshole found an old rule in a stupid book in perfidious Washington?
"No!" says the hand-picked,all-volunteer squad, and "No!" say we.
Resist! Support the Boys of Pointe du Snell, even if it takes an act of of Congress, which it might.
---
h/t : PM from author of The World's Greatest Travel Blog
Now some tax-sucking Sad Sack furshlugginer chair-warming feather merchant gold brick of an REMF wants to take the '03 Springfields back and give the boys them new-fangled M1 Garands.
Give up that soothing "snickity-snack-smack" of a well-lubed and competently handled '03 action? Suffer the excruciating pain of the M1 thumb? All because some moldy asshole found an old rule in a stupid book in perfidious Washington?
"No!" says the hand-picked,all-volunteer squad, and "No!" say we.
Resist! Support the Boys of Pointe du Snell, even if it takes an act of of Congress, which it might.
---
h/t : PM from author of The World's Greatest Travel Blog
Short take on my corner of blogville
Re: Comment 3 in the second TMR post down.
A pun acknowledgement from Tam is as satisfying to a small, hobby blogger as a Nobel Peace Prize must have been to small, hobby president.
.
A pun acknowledgement from Tam is as satisfying to a small, hobby blogger as a Nobel Peace Prize must have been to small, hobby president.
.
John D. MacDonald, Jesus, and the Iowa Caucuses 2012
In the 1980s our creator of Travis McGee was getting old, confronting the fact he was nearing his own deep blue good-bye. He turned his attention to the Eternal and wrote "One More Sunday." It is a tale of two preachers
One leads a giant organization of teevee priest craft. He is the exploiter of advanced technology to generate millions from the book-free living rooms of the sick, the lonely, the hopeless. My God how the money rolls in. And those naive virginal girls all in white, Oh My.
The other is a a bona fide backwoods fundamentalist, and MacDonald makes him a hero. Primitive though his theology may be by allegedly sophisticated standards, he rejects the offer of fame, big money, and all the alluring young ladies of the choir. He prefers to continue his personal quest, exploring with his small flock a way of finding meaning in a brief human life, a single strobe flash between the eternal Before and the everlasting After.
---
It's a rather long book and, I believe, not one of MacDonald's best. But if John's narrative powers were beginning to fade, his unmatched reporting skill was intact. "One More Sunday" justifies your reading time with a wholly believable set of observations on the difference between God as the temple money changer, leading in all the polls, always heading the Top 40 Chart...
...and God as the ultimate mystery; God as sublime mathematics, or as the purest poetry, or as a Creator anxious for us to understand His nature and desires. Or Hers. John also leaves the reader perfectly free to reflect on a God identical to the image presented by Jews, later joined by Christians, over the past few thousand years of human history as recorded in the the Middle-East and the "West."
I doubt he would have endorsed The Almighty as fund-raising tool for defeated Iowa politicians. Further, my personal conceit this morning is that John may have given me a pleasant nod for calling "One More Sunday" a useful tool for understanding the snake ball of American -- and especially Iowa -- presidential politics.
(TBC)
One leads a giant organization of teevee priest craft. He is the exploiter of advanced technology to generate millions from the book-free living rooms of the sick, the lonely, the hopeless. My God how the money rolls in. And those naive virginal girls all in white, Oh My.
The other is a a bona fide backwoods fundamentalist, and MacDonald makes him a hero. Primitive though his theology may be by allegedly sophisticated standards, he rejects the offer of fame, big money, and all the alluring young ladies of the choir. He prefers to continue his personal quest, exploring with his small flock a way of finding meaning in a brief human life, a single strobe flash between the eternal Before and the everlasting After.
---
It's a rather long book and, I believe, not one of MacDonald's best. But if John's narrative powers were beginning to fade, his unmatched reporting skill was intact. "One More Sunday" justifies your reading time with a wholly believable set of observations on the difference between God as the temple money changer, leading in all the polls, always heading the Top 40 Chart...
...and God as the ultimate mystery; God as sublime mathematics, or as the purest poetry, or as a Creator anxious for us to understand His nature and desires. Or Hers. John also leaves the reader perfectly free to reflect on a God identical to the image presented by Jews, later joined by Christians, over the past few thousand years of human history as recorded in the the Middle-East and the "West."
I doubt he would have endorsed The Almighty as fund-raising tool for defeated Iowa politicians. Further, my personal conceit this morning is that John may have given me a pleasant nod for calling "One More Sunday" a useful tool for understanding the snake ball of American -- and especially Iowa -- presidential politics.
(TBC)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)