I see by my electrical teevee that some pitcher for some team dramatically struck out a guy named Rodriguez who batted for some other team. According to the report, this sends the pitcher's team to the "American League Championship Series." Note the date of the event: October 6.
This explains 21st Century American lassitude and its secret application for a loan from the IMF Third-World Bailout Fund.
When the Universe was a finer place, the World Serious* was history by early October. We didn't call it the "September Classic" for nothing in the days when America could make radios and steel pistols; the era when we chose our wars more carefully and could, in general, win most of them with reasonable dispatch.
A nation abandons cherished tradition at its peril, and I suggest President Obama order a return to the diamond game as God intended it. Sixteen teams,** two leagues, no goddam "divisions," and 154 games plus the Series which, in case I haven't mentioned it yet, dammit, should be played in September.
(At the same time he might also outlaw television, although that might raise Constitutional questions.)
That's change you can believe it.
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*Thank you, Mr. Lardner, and while I'm here may I mention that if you and your buddy Mencken were still around, things would be a whole lot better.
**I mean, what the Hell ever gave anyone the idea that Tampa, for instance, was "major league?"
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