How to Think About Iowa (if you must) And It's Caucuses

Milk the cows, slop the hogs, pitch the hay, shovel the shit, go to church. Vote Republican and present yourself to the world as a paragon of fierce independence.  Picture it  this way ...

...and you'll have it mostly wrong.

 It was wrong  in 1930  when Grant wood painted it and still is.  About one year before  Wood touched his brush to this canvas  Herbert Hoover and his congress created The Agricultural Marketing Act of 1929 which said:  "If'n you can't sell your corn to actual people, never mind.  We'll buy it at a pretty fine price." A couple years later Franklin Roosevelt kicked the tax tractor into a higher gear and farmers never looked back.

That explains Bernie Sanders.

Second Edition: The Other Iowa Hustle (or) The Republicans are Coming! The Republicans are Coming!

An update of the Original report.  Six  new candidates, or probable/possible candidates, have been added. They're marked with an asterisk.  One original, Paul Ryan,  is retained as a matter of record after claiming he's not running. I count 16 still-panting hopefuls on the list at the moment.

(A second edition of the Democrats is in the works.)


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Every four years we in Heartland Center get pestered to death by He or She Who Would Be The Ruler, but at least it is a bipartisan contagion. You know, like ebola.

You have the left-wing authoritarians in the previous post. Herewith the right-wing authoritarians, making due allowance for Dr. Paul. He has inherited a certain amount of respect for the ability of  people to govern their own private affairs without undue armed supervision from social misfits with  government credentials.

As with the Democrats, the Republican list of Iowa Caucus annoyances is offered with no -- or at least  minimal -- editorial comment.

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Josh Ellis BUSH, born Feb. 11, 1953, in Midland, Texas; banker, real estate promoter,  entrepreneur, former governor of Florida.

*Benjamin Solomon CARSON, born Sept. 18, 1951, in Detroit, Michigan; pediatrician.

Christopher James  CHRISTIE, born Sept. 6, 1962 in Newark, New Jersey; lawyer, governor of NJ.

Rafael Edward CRUZ, born Dec. 22, 1970, in Calgary, Canada; lawyer, U.S. senator for Texas.

* Cara  FIORINA born (as Cara Carletion Sneed) Sept.l 6, 1954 in Austin, Texas; business executive, politician.

*Lindsey Olin GRAHAM, born July 9, 1955, in Central, SC; politician, senator for South Carolina.

Michael Dale HUCKABEE, born Aug. 25, 1955 in Hope, Arkansas; Baptist preacher, televangelist, teevee personality, former governor of Arkansas.

*John Richard KASICH, born May 13, 1952, in McKees Rocks, Pennsylvania; politician, former congressman (Dist.12), governor of Pennsylvania.

*George Elmer PATAKI, born June 24, 1945, in Peekskill,  New York; lawyer, politician, former governor of New York.

Plyush JINDAL, Born June 10, 1971, in Baton Rouge, Louisiana; biologist, politician, governor of Louisiana.

Randal Howard PAUL, born January 7, 1963 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania; ophthalmologist, senator for Kentucky.

James Richard PERRY born March 4, 1950 in Paint Creek, Texas; USAF C-130 pilot, salesman, politician, governor of Texas.

Marco Antonio RUBIO, born May 28 in Miami, Florida; lawyer, politician, senator for Florida.    

Paul Davis RYAN, born January 29, 1970 in Janesville, Wisconsin; politician,  congressman (Dist. 1) (Not running  as announced in January)

Richard John SANTORUM, born May 10, 1958 in Great Falls, Virginia; lawyer, politician, former congressman (PA-Dist. 18),  former U.S. senator for Pennsylvania.

*Donald TRUMP born June 14, 1946, in Queens, New York, real estate promotor, teevee personality.

Scott Kevin WALKER, born November 2, 1967 in Colorado Springs, Colorado; salesman, fundraiser, politician, governor of Wisconsin.

Circle the wagons

The Indians are coming!

Senator Pocahontas has scouts in Iowa, you know, the place where we decide who you can vote for. They're beating her tom-tom at the state fair despite -- we'll use her white-eye name here -- Liz Warren's solemn statement that she is not running for president.

Her Massachusetts dog soldiers aren't buying that. Maybe we, also, should be leery of her solemn statements because she once solemnly avowed Cherokee ancestry. She billed  herself as a native American on the Harvard faculty list. That allowed Harvard to  pimp itself out as a diversity bastion.

When it became obvious in her 2012 campaign that she is about as Injun as Martin Luther, she skedaddled back and forth and sideways until she finally came up with a dandy Kumbayah evasion:

Warren said she listed herself as a minority because she wanted to connect with “people for whom native American is part of their heritage and part of their hearts.” 

And she did it for at least 10 years.

About the only question regarding her forked tongue is: "Poky, did you lie about it at first -- when you applied to Harvard -- in order to score heap big affirmative-action hiring points?"

She said no.  Ted Kennedy said he "dived repeatedly" in a heroic effort to rescue Mary Jo.

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A small political datum lies here. Someone is willing to bet a little time and money that Hillary won't run. Hillary will, according to all present signs, but if she doesn't >big war whoop<.

Get Ready for HIllary

Or, "Quick, Henry, the Flit!"


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Political operatives have a running Q and A gag: "How far is it to Iowa?"  The answer is ""(xxx) days." meaning the time left until the Iowa caucuses.

For one more presidential election cycle, we Hawkeyes will choose a president for the rest of you. More accurately, we will narrow your choices. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this because of our exceedingly virtuous character and the depth of our wisdom.

Last time around I blogged the damned circus for more than a year under a separate label (Iowa Caucuses 2012) and did my best to keep that part of the TMR objective.  Mostly objective, anyway.

Because some actual working pros in the journalism and political consulting rackets  said they found it useful, I guess I'll try to do it again.

I'll change the format slightly. I made up the last one as I went along, and while it told the story, it was slightly awkward, for me and for the folks who used it. Basically it will be a list, a quick reference -- the dude's name, age,  party, residence, date became a candidate, date dropped out and so forth.

I try to include everyone, from the most serious contenders right down to the 47 guys in big shoes who pile out of a Volkswagen in the center ring.

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So why am I telling you now? What  difference does it make??!!  Hillary made me do it. She's here. The overture is playing.