Honduras

By all odds, the Honduran fracas is just another falling out among banana thieves. Nothing much is going to happen beyond the range of the Tegucigalpa teevee cameras if you don't count leftist politicians straining and grunting to present the most populist image.*

So it's okay to play this one strictly for entertainment value, and to that end, TMR offers a Honduran resource.

Or if you happen to be female, maybe you can get the glands in action by summoning up a vision of a bare-chested Obama arm-linked to Hugo Chavez and Danny Ortega, marching on the Palacio as the chorus of thousands brings Guantanamera to crescendo.

If I had a serious bitch about this comic opera it would be against -- you guessed it -- wire services which kept leading their stories with soldiers ousting "the democratically elected president."

As a general matter I do not disapprove of democracy, but as an icon of righteousness it has its limits. I can't recall, for instance, any news items emphasizing that his political foes ousted a democratically elected Richard M. Nixon. Or that the Grand Alliance of 1941-1945 ousted the democratically elected leader of of the Third Reich.

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*Our President in Washington is not excepted, having missed another fine opportunity for silence.

An American Dream

Three hundred miles east of the Somali coast, pirates attack and capture a cargo ship flying the Stars and Stripes and manned by Americans. The word spreads, and the U.S. Navy  sternly warns that it is aggressively trying to decide what to do. In Washington, the Obama White House is issues two press releases, one  reporting that the President will monitor the situation and another confirming that he is bravely  monitoring the situation.

Meanwhile, 20 America merchant seamen aboard the  decide they don't need no steenken Navy, nor White House either. They  arose  like the spirit of John Paul Jones to capture the pirate leader and send his fellow sea thugs scampering.

Spot news reports this hour say that is exactly what is happening, give or take a few trivial nuances. So may we honor our private enterprise sailors above all.  This is the stuff of legend. 

We might also kill a little time  writing to the Pentagon and the White House. Tell the fellows that we possess a navy and its commander-in-chief for reasons other than handwringing indecision. I mean, like, we ain't French.

EDIT: Looks like one of those nuances is the captain bobbing about in  a small boat, hostage of the three pirates who got away.

 

Torching the Beemer

It's fraud and I can't defend it, but is there the slightest moral difference between what these guys are doing and what AIG, GM, and Chrysler did? 

Obama's Economic Succubus

The Christian Science Monitor this morning offers a calm, measured analysis of the Economic Disaster Plan. It notes that the immediate effect is the tax credit boosting the average weekly pay check by $13, and...

"The hope is that taxpayers will react to the new cash, however small it is, by temporarily adjusting their opinions of how much money they make, and spending accordingly."

There it is. My  income is not a datum. It is an opinion. Or sort of, y'know, like a feeling or a vibe. So off to this singles bar I know; sidle up to the two hottest chicks in  the joint. "What color cars you girls want?"

Well, Suntory IS pretty good

Poor old Shoichi Nakagawa showed up stinko at a news conference and was forced to resign at Japan's finance minister.

Seems a bit unfair. As P. J. O'Rourke remarked in a similar situation, "We let Ted Kennedy vote in the Senate all the time."

Blooming idiots

I'm too old to cry, too BTDTish to be surprised. But I'm fully capable of anger when I read crap like this. Give a cop a gun and he hands you a rose and a cheap gift  card on Valentine's Day.

And everyone says  wow, what a neat thing to do, New-Age-wise.

10-33! -- Unauthorized Fornication

With nothing much else to do,  City Leaders in Council Bluffs decided there was just too much unsanctioned coupling going on along the banks of the Missouri. Time to show those low-life hoes and their Johns.  The sting worked, but, ooops.

The armed Copulation Controllers snagged six would-be customers,  including a Council Bluffs city councilman, one school board president, one lawyer,  and one teacher.  Only  two were Commoners. 

Thus,  two-thirds of the scoundrels who sin against decency are members of the classes which write,  teach,  and interpret  the Purity Statutes. 

Statistics can be fun, I muse, preparing to cite myself on the topic.

 

So Much for Ethic Cleansing

Roddy Blago of Illinois had it right, a U.S. Senate seat IS  "a (effing) valuable thing."

Just ask St. Hoppen Change's man to oversee your personal health. He's Tom Daschle, former senator from South Dakota and apparent tax evader to the tune of about $125,000. Like new Treasury Boss Ted Geithner,  he's also pleading that he really didn't understand all those tax laws he wrote and as soon as the light bulb clicked on, why, he forked over. 

Also like Ted, his forkover came only after he learned for sure Obama was about to offer him a super job with about the coolest office around and a really nice limo. Plus the authority to toss around a few billion dollars contributed by people who do pay their taxes. 

Tom and Ted each decided they better fess up because those annoying reporters might start checking little details like that.

"Daschle filed amended tax returns for 2005, 2006 and 2007 to reflect additional income for consulting work, the use of a car service and reduced deductions for charitable contributions. He filed the returns after Obama announced he intended to nominate Daschle to head the Health and Human Services Department."  (AP)

Politico did a little digging

"...Daschle pulled down a total of more than $500,000 from the speaking circuit in the last two years, and $5.3 million in overall income. That includes more than $2 million in consulting fees from InterMedia Advisors, a private equity firm."

Daschle didn't report cash income, didn't report something like a quarter-million for a personal car and driver, and decided that he didn't really give $15,000 to charity after all. 

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So Right On,  Brother Blago.  A guy can turn a senate seat into a really nice buck or two.  

St. Hoppen Change, Himself,  says all this is piddly stuff and should be ignored because former Senator Daschle is the right man to handle your health care.  "All that stuff about lilly white ethics, well, y'know, I said it in, like, I mean, when I was running, y'know, and...".

A lot of folks seem to be collecting guns and ammo and MREs against the chance of governmental disaster. 

Under uberhealthfuerher Daschle, a reserve case of KY Jelly might also be useful, speaking of forkovers.

Pharoah Burris

This is funny.

So is a reader comment on Burris' monument to himself in Illinois: "That's no cemetery. It's a precinct." 

(First-alert  nod to Roberta.)

Solar system news

Mars farted

And to save their souls,  the Goreberries can't find a little green cow to tax.

Scoreboard

St. Hoppen Change appointments:

Treasury Secretary, Tim Geithner: Tax evader.

Commerce Secretary, Bill Richardson (withdrawn): Pay to play.

Chief Federal Efficiency Expert, Nancy Killifer: Tax evader (the dreaded nanny tax)

Secretary of State: Hillary Clinton: "We'll tell you what you need to know about Bill's Arab loot.  If you don't like it I'll cry and stamp my foot. "

Disclaimer for the TEs: They all claim they didn't know they were supposed to pay taxes. And they all did, in fact, cough  up, just as soon as they got caught.

Disclaimer for Richardson: "Who? Me?"

To be, with  only the slimmest doubt, continued.

Miffed

Ten little words  buried in the AP report of Obama' choice to boss the CIA reveal about 90 per cent of the necessary information about government:

"... despite Panetta's strong history of bipartisan goodwill, news of his selection struck sour chords not only among predictable Republican skeptics but even among a longtime friend and fellow Californian, incoming Intelligence Committee Chairwoman Sen. Dianne Feinstein. She complained about Panetta's lack of intelligence experience and Obama's failure to consult with her on the decision."

Argue the merits of Leon as Spy King all you want. The real lesson is that a congressional ego is  size-small condom inflated with about three cubic feet of air.

Well, Hell, I Try to be a Patriot

We patriotically obeyed Our Leaders in the $147 per-barrel days. We pumped up the tires, drove less, drove slower. With assists from the likes of Bernie Madoff it worked, and we're burning less gas. Very patriotic, and Our Leaders thank us with:

"Okay you benighted bastards. Since you won't drive far enough and fast enough to pay enough gas tax to keep our brothers-in-law the road builders happy we're gonna raise your fuel taxes."

Way out Left -- in Upper Kalifornia -- Oregon Leaders have a better idea. Make you buy GPS-equipped cars and trucks so they can track your travels and charge you by the mile. They absolutely promise this will not become a way for Big Brother to watch your every move, i.e., "No indeed. We would never let anyone but the fuel tax guys see your itinerary. Absolutely no chance we would let the cops and the other bureaucrats peek at it. I mean, +rilly+ +rilly+ rilly+!"

And your Social Security number can't be used for identification. And the income tax will never exceed 1 per cent. And your Grandpa voted for FDR because he kept us out of war. 

 

Gaza Redux

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Our Leaders want us to get all het up about Gaza -- less than eight miles wide, about 25 miles long, 139 square miles, about twice the size of Washington, D.C. So a less genteel  observer than I  might crudely refer to it as a pissant little place.

But "Oh, the humanity!" 

It's true that some 1.5 million Gazoids live there, many (most?) of them slavishly following religio-statist nitwits dedicated to making general international  pests of themselves in a gory manner. Whether that sort of herd needs thinning is an open question, depending largely on one's personal  approach to humanitarianism.

(However, no one need necessarily  conclude that, even if it's a good idea to depopulate  pissant little places full of nitwits, Washington should be on the list.)

 

Gaza

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The rockets fly in the Negev again, and World Leaders are franticly warning that we all must do something. TMR suggests real countries release the following joint communique:

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Middle East:

We note with sadness your most recent altercation in the vicinity of The Gaza Strip and would be pleased to see it concluded promptly and amicably.  However, should a cordial modus vivendi be beyond your diplomatic skills and/or emotional resources, we  tender our regrets and hereby request that you advise us when your problems are resolved. At that point we shall be delighted to initiate relationships with those citizens of your nations, if any,  who remain vertical.

Cordially,

(signature of World Leaders)

Speaking of Vermin

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Perhaps I already mentioned Bernie Madoff, the former Naz chairman and investing genius accused of somehow managing to make $50 Billion disappear in a Ponzi scheme.

Turns out Bernie was active in politics, too, lavishing some of that $50 Billion on politicians and and K Street bandits. Among them:

"One of the largest recipients of Madoff largess was Sen. Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.), who received $39,000 from the family for his two Senate races." (AP) 

Senator Schumer is the virtuous fellow who keeps writing bills to make sure no one has any firearms except the military, the police, and the criminal class.

Justice and General Motors

So this guy  Bernie  Madoff,  darling of NASD,  admits to stealing more than three times what the car companies and the UAW want to steal from the citizens this week.

Bernie's take was about $50 Billion. New York judges have been known to ship a raggedyass ghetto kid to Attica for 10 years for  swiping a 200-buck teevee set. Whaddya suppose Bernie will draw?

Fun With Statistics

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Let's assume that Gov. Rod will  do a little prison time.

When that happens you will be able state accurately that 2 per cent of the nation's governors in office as of December, 2008, are incarcerated.  At the same time, 1 per cent of all Americans are graybarred for one offense or another.

Thus United States governors, as a class, are twice as criminal as the people they govern.

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For Sale

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...One U.S. Senate seat. 

What the Hell. How much worse is a senator bought on the open market than one bought through the usual processes?

I hope none of you libertarian cynics snorts out snide comments about Illinois being the political cradle of one Barrack Obama.

Priority for High-Level National Action

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So help me, I didn't know 20 states had decided to regulate underage consumption of ultra-violet.

"ATLANTA (AP) – State laws meant to keep teens out of indoor tanning booths haven't made a dent, a new study has found, disappointing doctors hoping to reduce deadly skin cancers. The researchers say it's not clear why the laws failed, but pointed to lax enforcement as a factor."

(1) -- These researchers must be reassigned to researching optimum means of pouring piss out of a boot.

(2) -- Enforcement  would be an excellent project for Obama's new civilian security force. 

(3) -- Because the primary offenders are young women, Amendment 4 should be suspended  to permit LEO stop and gape on reasonable suspicion. "Halt! Remove your  garments. Aha, No white strap marks. You're busted, Baby."  If nothing else it would boost local teevee news ratings.