Nothing good can come of this. Our brothers of the Rising Sun buying Jim Beam? If I know those guys, and I think I do, they won't even sugar coat this barbaric act of imperialism with a decent geisha house in Clermont, Kentucky.
Please don't think me racist, at least not in this case. After all, I did not protest the Jap purchase of Pebble Beach 24 years ago. What's a goddam golf course between allies, anyway? (I was, however, vaguely pleased when Clint Eastwood bought it back for us.)
But Jim Beam Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey -- American since 1795 -- under the thumb of the guys who make Suntory whiskey, a liquid some people actually drink but which achieves its highest and best purpose as a surface cleaner and disinfectant? Sacrilege. Un-American. Yet another reason to rise up in revolt against the Obama foreign trade policy. Gives me a pain in the sakirilliac.
We can't overpraise Jim Beam, here. It's a justifiable few cents a shot cheaper than Jack and Turkey and Makers but still a pleasant-enough flavoring for Coke, RC, and Dr. Pepper. And it's American. Middle American. Blue collar tattoo Levis and Harley American. To arms! God knows what will happen to it when Osaka gets around to experimenting with additives of rice squeezings.
We must stop selling them scrap metal and embargo all shipments of...
Oh Hell. Shut up, Jim. You're too late. The deal is done. It all Akadamac now.
Jan 14, 2014
Jan 13, 2014
Flash. President to Sue Weight Watchers
The get-skinny company is out with an arresting teevee commercial. An aww-too-cute little girl skips about, chanting that when she grows up she just wants to "float around in her pink bubble" and wave her "magic wand to make rainbows fall from the skies."
A narrator intones, "...remember when anything was possible? ... it still is."
Obama is furious and has directed Eric Holder to sue Weight Watchers for violating the copyright on his 2008 campaign message.
A narrator intones, "...remember when anything was possible? ... it still is."
Obama is furious and has directed Eric Holder to sue Weight Watchers for violating the copyright on his 2008 campaign message.
Jan 12, 2014
Love your bean counters
They run around in nice suits and polished shoes, but it is rewarding to think of them as noble Transylvanian peasants. They tolerate a certain degree of evil, but when blood suckers cross the line, it is torches and pitch forks in the night.
I refer to auditors, and I all but worship them. You see, they try to keep the vampires in check and preserve that portion of my life blood not legally available for theft by the politicians and their familiars in the bureaucracy.
The latest instance from these parts has some officials down in southeast Iowa scurrying to come up with proposals for prison reform -- nice buffet meals, thick mattresses, etc. They might actually get it done, being as they are employees of the Department of Corrections, our state jailer.
State Auditor Mary Mosiman has ferreted out close to $800,000 in "improper expenditures " in one of those godawful "public-private partnerships." The actual bite is higher because some documents went missing before Mary's militia knocked on the door. How much higher we don't know, but I always apply a rule of thumb: Double reported theft to approach the actual total.
The honey dipping apparently began when some mid-level DOC nabobs decided to create, or foster, a not-for-profit 501c3 to help it administer its community corrections programs. My God how the money rolled in, from the state, the feds, and other sources. The state guys and their private-sector pals set up a cozy interlocking directorate and started an energetic game of catch. Bundles of money flew around the offices, no one worrying overmuch about who had the surest fielder's glove.
Sure enough, after about four years their budget started showing unexplained shortfalls. They could hide them for a while (Toss the money faster, Homer!) and succeeded in getting a c. $600,000 special appropriation from the legislature. That raised some eyebrows. Then, get this, one of the local boss men quickly went back to Des Moines for another $800,000. (Once I heard of a guy who left his driver's license on the counter of a Stop 'n' Rob that he stopped and robbed.)
To much even for Des Moines, the highest levels called Mary and said sic 'em.
Having sicced, Mary was good enough to turn the file (pdf) over to the attorney general's office. It would be nice if he does his job as well as she seems to do hers.
In fact, if I ever run across her, I think I'll give her a nice hug if she'll let me.
I refer to auditors, and I all but worship them. You see, they try to keep the vampires in check and preserve that portion of my life blood not legally available for theft by the politicians and their familiars in the bureaucracy.
The latest instance from these parts has some officials down in southeast Iowa scurrying to come up with proposals for prison reform -- nice buffet meals, thick mattresses, etc. They might actually get it done, being as they are employees of the Department of Corrections, our state jailer.
State Auditor Mary Mosiman has ferreted out close to $800,000 in "improper expenditures " in one of those godawful "public-private partnerships." The actual bite is higher because some documents went missing before Mary's militia knocked on the door. How much higher we don't know, but I always apply a rule of thumb: Double reported theft to approach the actual total.
The honey dipping apparently began when some mid-level DOC nabobs decided to create, or foster, a not-for-profit 501c3 to help it administer its community corrections programs. My God how the money rolled in, from the state, the feds, and other sources. The state guys and their private-sector pals set up a cozy interlocking directorate and started an energetic game of catch. Bundles of money flew around the offices, no one worrying overmuch about who had the surest fielder's glove.
Sure enough, after about four years their budget started showing unexplained shortfalls. They could hide them for a while (Toss the money faster, Homer!) and succeeded in getting a c. $600,000 special appropriation from the legislature. That raised some eyebrows. Then, get this, one of the local boss men quickly went back to Des Moines for another $800,000. (Once I heard of a guy who left his driver's license on the counter of a Stop 'n' Rob that he stopped and robbed.)
To much even for Des Moines, the highest levels called Mary and said sic 'em.
Having sicced, Mary was good enough to turn the file (pdf) over to the attorney general's office. It would be nice if he does his job as well as she seems to do hers.
In fact, if I ever run across her, I think I'll give her a nice hug if she'll let me.
Jan 10, 2014
My Lazarus experience
It isn't fraught with spirituality or human drama. It is downright bestial in fact.
The polar vortex exhausted my supply of ready firewood behind the burner. A warm and cuddly 30-degree day moved me to replenish from a ragged pile of cottonwood and oak out back, frozen through for months. The chore almost done, I placed one billet on top of the burner to dry the surface moisture.
A few minutes later I happened to glance at it, and my wondering eyes spied a happy little black bug. I named him Lazarus. Then I squished him.
It's too early for bugs in the house.
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