Showing posts with label The media (sigh). Show all posts
Showing posts with label The media (sigh). Show all posts

May 31, 2012

How Many Poles Does it Take...

Okay, it was the dumbass move of the month, this "Polish death camp" line our dim president threw out. It wasn't a mere "gaffe." He read it from his teleprompter, meaning it was written by experts in demagoguery, edited by even greater authorities on the art of bullshitting voters, and, finally, approved by the handful of high courtiers allowed to walk into the Obama Oval Office without knocking.

None of them, not even His Ineptness himself, had a neuron jiggled by the inherent dangers of an adjective, in this case "Polish."

Politics being the street brawl that it is, Romneyites are within their rights to kick the Obama campaign wedding tackle. True, the mouthpieces of the left are going blue in the face screaming that the GOP should retire to a neutral corner while the Obama seconds sponge him off and apply styptic powder.  Wouldn't they just.

It will all die down, leaving His Ineptness with fewer Ski votes this fall. And leaving some of us slack-jawed in amazement at the things the American electorate and its  media find crucial.

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Here's what happened, Bunkie: About 73 years ago a country called Germany, led by a guy called Hitler, had a friend called Russia. Together, they raped a country called Poland. A domestic dispute occurred and Germany wound up running things in Poland. Among the innovations there were "death camps," conceived and operated of the Germans, by the Germans, and for the Germans. The camps wrecked unbelievable horror on millions of innocents who happened to have the wrong religion or the wrong genes or the wrong profession.

Hence "Polish death camps" -- a central event in the defining years of the 20th Century. It was universally understood that the term referred to German evil which, as a matter of Nazi convenience, was perpetrated across its border with Poland. It was simply more efficient to put ovens and torture chambers close to the target demographic.

By 1944 or '45 German guilt was in all the papers. No one  qualified to appear in public without a minder thought otherwise. Even many dues-paying members of the teachers' unions knew it and taught it.

Times change. History gets muddled, as do educationists, journalists, and grasping parasites of the political class. And so a great international debate flares over what, not much more than generation ago, would have been a phrase objectionable only to the most anal grammarian at Miss Porter's Country Day School.

Meanwhile, Rome-on-Potomac burns because math is a lot harder than squalling about ethnic insensitivity.  (cf: fiat money, debt)

This is not to let His Ineptness off the hook. He has one and only one profession, the politics of power. He and his elite panderers to public opinion of the moment are rewarded beyond Midas dreams to appear Christly at all times to even the looniest understandings held by blocs of the voting public. It's Propaganda 101, Mr. President. You flunked.

Now, as a practical matter, guys nicknamed Ski don't constitute the most important part of your electoral base. But, out of pure human kindness, may I suggest that you don't repeat the error.

For instance, if one of your crack speech writers gives you a draft containing "Negro lynchings," you might want to rephrase.










May 22, 2012

The Zuckerberg Divorce

Poor Mark. Poor Priscilla. If things are still going well, they haven't taken in the "Do Not Disturb" knob hanger. Their sole contact with the outside world is room service.  They wouldn't even know that The New York Times is choreographing their divorce in a Who Gets What  piece.

It is unseemly, of course, but it' not hard to understand. Who can figure out why the facebook IPO flopped in its first two days and is looking worse this morning? I mean, who even wants to get his brain all discombobulated with numbers about how much the company might earn and when in comparison with other investment possibilities -- among a lot else, most of it having to do with numbers? Math is boring, and hard! 


Skylarking around about possibilities for their divorce settlement makes fewer neuron demands, and is quite a little sexier to boot.  It isn't many more steps to speculation about Mark's first trophy wife, to be acquired when cute Priscella develops her first wrinkle.

Oh well, that's how we sell newspapers, and I don't particularly mind even though I would have expected the Good Gray Lady to hold off a bit, at least until the happy couple puts its pants back on, leaving the early titillation to Fox News,  The Ed Show, and TMZ.


May 21, 2012

With apologies to Lawdog

On the one paw, don't we pay police officers in part for adequate marksmanship?

Officers ______ and ______  responded to the 1300 block of College Avenue on a report of shots being fired. _________said he approached the scene with his weapon drawn and saw the dog running at full speed toward him and _______. He said he shot three times with his handgun, and the dog ran away. It was not hit.


On the other paw, a dog charging head on doesn't present much center mass, so maybe we should give Officer Friendly a pass.


On the third paw, don't we pay journalists for a certain completeness in their reports?  There not a syllable of explanation of the "shots being fired" call which led to the Fido confrontation.


That leaves me with one paw to spare. Put 'er there, Pawdner. 

Apr 25, 2012

So, your horrified mate in the next cubicle has given up hamburgers. Not only will the ammonia used to clean up pink slime kill him, the added hormones  are likely to shirvel his penis or grow an extra toe. Something horrible, anyway. The electric teevee told him so.

Jinglebob has had enough and decided to pass along a point or two. Among them, in reference to those killer hormone additives to cow food:


One Birth Control Pill contains the same amount of estrogen 
as 125,000 lbs of beef from an implanted steers.


As to gassed pink slime, there's about there's about twice as much ammonia in your MacDonald's bun as in the cow patty itself.

There's a good deal more there from our buddy at the live-moo end of the beef business. It should reduce the anxiety you feel from broiling a small sirloin to go with your Saturday morning eggs.











Apr 18, 2012

... or even above the fold

Fox news hired Dick Morris this morning to tell us who should run under Romney.

Rubio, he said. No one else.

The Fox chatterer said, but, but, but, Rubio isn't experienced. He's just a first-term senator...

Apr 15, 2012

A little Sunday side trip into radio

You don't have to be a Hoosier to like Indiana Radio Watch. You just have to be an unreconstructed radio freak. Blaine Thompson probably knows as much as anyone about Indiana radio as it is now and as it was back in the 8-pot-Gates days.

The periodic email report always includes at least one thing I find interesting. This morning it notes that the little station  WBZQ in Huntington, about 20 miles southwest of Fort Wayne, has been sold. So what? Little stations change hands like used Chevys.

Because the price was 75,000 Bernanke-inflated dollars.

So what if it was just one step up from a coffee-pot operation, putting out 500 watts until sunset, then 13 after dark -- yes, only about twice what your old Cobra CB exhaled before you wired in the illegal linear amplifier?

Only a generation ago a station like that would have grossed maybe $100,000 a year.  (For perspective, that amount of 1970 money would have bought you about 20 new Corvettes, loaded. )

The rule of thumb held that an AM radio station was worth about two times its gross revenue. Real estate was extra.

So comes the end of my denial. AM radio IS dead.  Bury it beside the Yankee dollar.

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(Blaine would be glad to put you on his mailing list, but I don't care to publish his email address. He's on Facebook.)

Apr 3, 2012

Carry enough gun

The Oakland outrage led this morning's CNN infotainment as chesty anchor girl  Solecism O'Brien (BA, Harvard, 2000)  interviewed the Oakland police chief.

"We understand the weapon  was a 45 millimeter handgun," she said.

"Yes, the shooter was a dedicated wildcatter and handloader," the chief responded. (Okay, I made that part up.)







Mar 9, 2012

Good morning, America

1. The day of glory arrives. It is a moveable feast. Let history record that on March 9, 2012 C.E. the  Master of Camp J, having read prophets in the Book of Aerology, ceremonially unplugs the heat tape.

2. Attention Willie Geist: It's none of your damned business why I'm up so early. I know. The marketing psychologists told you the way to maintain viewership is to get your audience *involved" with your show. Make them *part* of it by giving them an *ownership stake.*  Look, son, I don't want to own your program. I don't want to participate in any manner at all. I don't care to be your buddy. I want you to sit your eflin butt down behind a desk and read me the news off your teleprompter.  I don't need your clever exchange with the weather guy or your guesses about basketball games. (One concession. If you want to have some papers to shuffle on your desk so as to look more like a really studious and concerned journalist, why, I guess that's okay.)

3. The news this morning seems to be that  the Glory that was Greece is back.. Works like this: You loaned Athens a hundred bucks. Athens promised to pay it back. Athens then decided payback would be inconvenient. So you had your Travis McGee conundrum -- settle for half or take a dead loss. More technically, you had to trade your hundred-dollar IOU for a 50 dollar IOU, backed by colllateral identical to the original: the integrity and competence of Greek politicians.

4. Actually, we get two glory days in a row. Tomorrow is the big loophole in Wells, Minnesota. We may or may not loophole anything lethal, but it's always a pleasant pilgrimmage. Imagine. Hundreds of tables of death insturments in many calibers, most of them capable of bringing down a J3 Cub.  And they're all on display in a school. True, this travesty explains Wells' reputation for rivers of blood and streets of gore, but you can't have everything.

Feb 28, 2012

Dear CNN, Fox, and MSNBC

Even devoted political freaks are tired of it. Our tolerance for drama contrived from the flimsiest "analysis" has been exceeded. And we haven't even come  to the big primaries yet.

Why don't you send all your anchors and common taters home for a while? After the votes are counted, tell us who won. Meanwhile put up some old Daffy Duck cartoons. See if we can tell the difference.

Feb 17, 2012

The perils of spell-check

Local Radio Bulletin:

"Storm Lake, IA (KICD)--An on the lamb fugitive from Storm Lake is apprehended in Corpus Christi, Texas..." 


Long way to ride a getway sheep.

Feb 16, 2012

Dum-de-DUM-dum

It's an unhappy little news item about a woman accused of large-scale animal neglect. She's been charged, and the surviving dogs and cats are being cared for. Not worth mentioning but for the phrasing of AP's final sentence.

"Six of the dogs are suspected of being pregnant." 

I hope Joe Friday gets to the bottom of this.

Feb 15, 2012

Way too Early Squirrley

Woke up about 3:30. Followed usual pre-dawn routine anyway. Scan the AP and Reuters reports. Pour a cup of coffee.  Plug in teevee just in time to catch the intro to "Way too Early."

Barnicle (subbing for Annoyingly Smiley Kid Willie) all excited about the seas off Iran where Dinner Jacket's patrol boat passes close to U.S. war ship. Worries about accidental war. Teases that MSNBC will report later from the "deck of one of the battle ships" there in the gulf.

Battle ship turns out to be either a carrier or a tin can. Too bad. For a brief moment I thought maybe we had recommissioned the Iowa. No such luck, just teevee doing what it does best -- phucking up phacts

I know. Battle ships are so 1940s, and they cost like Hell. So what?  Romance is worth something. Like Amos (Andy?) said, "It's just the  yo ho ho of the thing." The price of admiralty. Great White Fleet.  Murder's Row. All that.

---

About "accidental"  war as a result of opposing ships playing chicken. I urge one and all to refamiliarize him-or-herself with that accidental Gulf of Tonkin deal. It's pretty disheartening.

But at least we can be thankful that we don't have an LBJ top-kicking our armed forces any more. We're blessed in this era with a commander-in-chief far too moral to consider that a spot of election-year war might divert voter attention from  --ohhh, I dunno -- Solyndra, the flat national wallet,  record number of folks on food stamps, his flip-flop on super PACs and subsidized contraception.  Stuff like that.

Thank you for your kind attention. I am returning to my bed. Foetally. Thumb in mouth. Whimpering.

Jan 10, 2012

The Associated Press in New Hampshire reports...

... that Mitt said: "If I am president of the United States, I will not forget New Hampshire," 


Translation: About your votes, people. If you're selling, I'm buying.  Hideous, but politics as usual. It's just that Romney has been losing control of his tongue lately and needs a state-of-the art teleprompter as bad as His Ineptness. But this is an attributed quotation and therefore not the AP's fault.


This is:


Third place was being discussed as the equivalent of a win for much of the field because Paul, the quirky Texas congressman, seemed to have a lock on the No. 2 spot. 


So, the world's greatest wire service, on it's own, in a narrative, assumes the authority to inform the world who is and is not quirky -- and thus how the significance of the voters' choices should be measured.


 Not so very long ago, that sort of editorializing in a straight news report would have landed the AP reporter's partisan or incompetent ass in the street -- right on top of  the editor who filed it to the wire.


C'mon AssPress. Give yourself something to be proud of for a change.

Nov 15, 2011

Making even O'Rielly seem like a news reporter

Chelsea Clinton is now a big-time journalist for NBC, joining Jenna Bush and  Meghan McCain in a new triumvirate of lucky sperm kids who will explain the world to us. The network assures us she wasn't hired as just another pretty face.

Chelsea Clinton "made it very clear that this is not going to be a surface-deep relationship," (NBC News President) ) Capus told the New York Times. "She wants to be in the field for the shoot and in the edit room for the edit."

And if that doesn't terrify you I'll kiss your arse in the Rainbow Room and sign a model release for every camera crew you can cram into the joint.

(For Chelsea's first effort, maybe she could treat us to a retrospective on her ma's heroic conduct under intense fire in the Sandbox.)

Paranoia revisited

Or: "Gee it's fun to yell wolf-wolf-wolf at the kids."

Down at the Athens of the Corn Fields, someone reported a man threatening a woman with a gun, "somewhere in Iowa City." University of Iowa officials flashed out an e-alert (a "Hawk Warning") telling the 31,000 students to stay put and avoid the horrifying risk of being outdoors in the sprawling city of 68,000.

Local teevee found one of the panic-stricken students.

“We were terrified because we were going to have to walk back and everyone told us not to leave,” said ... a freshman student who was at a local restaurant when she received the message."


She was not alone in fright: 
“The girl taking our orders was freaking out," (another coed) said. “Everyone behind us was like ‘Oh my God.’”




The police investigated and reported: "
the suspect was located in Muscatine, where he planned to spend the night with a family member. Local police talked to the man, but did not find a gun in his possession. Iowa City police are not planning on filing any charges because there is no concrete evidence in the case...





You can chalk up some of this to teevee doing what teevee lives for -- creating the highest possible drama from every pee-leg 911 call. Panic on campus draws viewers. 
And much of it to university officials petrified at the thought of having a public relations problem, of not being seen as custodians of a venue safe as Sunday school.








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There's nothing wrong with some sort of communications system reporting potential danger, but these panic attacks every time a jittery citizen sees a firearm pretty much negates the value  of any alert system.







Oct 10, 2011

Still metabolizing

Just to confirm that your TMR author is still alive and in recovery from a trip, a medium-nasty cold, some highly welcome guests, and an uncontrollable urge to spend time in the reloading shack, I pass on this wisdom from local radio. It's  helping the government save us all from fiery doom. Fire Prevention Week, doncha know.

"This year's campaign focuses on preventing the leading cause of home fire--cooking, heating, electrical equipment, candles and smoking materials."


I'm having a helluva time thinking of anything that doesn't cover this side of rubbing two Girl Scouts together. Shows you what happens when government functionaries and reporters decide to "focus."

Sep 1, 2011

And the world's tallest midget is...

The MSNBC weather guy just reported breathlessly, "Irene will be the costliest Catergory 1 hurricane in history."

Aug 26, 2011

I have a dream, Irene

The significance of the 2011 Great Storm of Doom:

As Hurricane Irene swung north Thursday, putting the Washington region in its sights, Maryland and Virginia declared a state of emergency and Sunday’s dedication of the memorial to the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. was postponed.

That's the WaPo lede graf on its banner story. So you know equal weight must be given to

(a) The emergency -- the death of innocents, jillions in damages (and)

(b) A delay in dedicating a statue.

What I dream of is journalism with a sense of proportion.

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Here is a bulletin from The Associated Press. Scientists have confirmed that a huge asteroid will strike Earth on Sunday, wiping out the human race. World stock markets tumbled on the news.

Aug 7, 2011

Holy Moly, Mary, what else do you know about macroeconomics?

The Washington Post hawks itself as a newspaper, and quite a serious one at that.  This is historically accurate, even allowing for its dependably statist analysis of every conceivable topic.

But now? The newspaper presents the debt-limit fight in Captain Marvel form -- a comic strip which the editors almost assuredly wish you to take seriously.

End times defined:  That period in our national history when the Post makes Rush Limbaugh look intellectual.

Aug 1, 2011

Journalism in America: the economics beat

This arrived in my inbox from our pal JAGSC. It's a  photo cutline from a Texas newspaper report on the drought.

"A cotton plant has sprouted through a piece of parched, cracked earth in a West Texas field near Lubbock that was not irrigated.  The irony: While supplies are low, cotton prices are their highest  in years."