Still metabolizing

Just to confirm that your TMR author is still alive and in recovery from a trip, a medium-nasty cold, some highly welcome guests, and an uncontrollable urge to spend time in the reloading shack, I pass on this wisdom from local radio. It's  helping the government save us all from fiery doom. Fire Prevention Week, doncha know.

"This year's campaign focuses on preventing the leading cause of home fire--cooking, heating, electrical equipment, candles and smoking materials."


I'm having a helluva time thinking of anything that doesn't cover this side of rubbing two Girl Scouts together. Shows you what happens when government functionaries and reporters decide to "focus."

Smith & Wesson tries again.

The Grand Old Company puts a happier face on it, but the truth is that S&W can't build fences anyone wants to buy. Seems the gates don't quite close, the posts aren't straight, and the finish wears off the first Thursday after installation.

Sorry. That may not be quite accurate, but a guy who +finally+ made near-new SW 59 work right can be forgiven for the speculation.

Anyway, SW can't make a dime on its "Perimeter Security" business, so it's trying to sell it. The PR department hopes you don't remember its hyperflack of  a couple years ago, promising the new fence business would make you rich if you bought some SWHC.

Last month the company fired the boss by kicking him upstairs to become "vice-chairman of the board of directors. "(Please.  It's impolite to giggle.)

The new boss has been running the firearms end of the business and says SW needs to concentrate on its -- cliche alert --"core competency." Uh huh.

I'll believe they're competent when they bring back the Model 25.

Spengler Didn't Know Jack Schidtt About the Decline of the West

I see by my electrical teevee that some pitcher for some team dramatically struck out a guy named Rodriguez who batted for some other team. According to the report, this sends the pitcher's team to the "American League Championship Series." Note the date of the event: October 6.

This explains 21st Century American lassitude and its secret application for a loan from the IMF Third-World Bailout Fund.

When the Universe was a finer place, the World Serious* was history by early October. We didn't call it the "September Classic" for nothing in the days when America could make radios and steel pistols; the era when we chose our wars more carefully and could, in general, win most of them with reasonable dispatch.

A nation abandons cherished tradition at its peril, and I suggest President Obama  order a return to the diamond game as God intended it. Sixteen teams,** two leagues, no goddam "divisions,"  and 154 games plus the Series which, in case I haven't mentioned it yet, dammit, should be played in September.

(At the same time he might also outlaw television, although that might raise Constitutional questions.)

That's change you can believe it.

---

*Thank you, Mr. Lardner, and while I'm here may I mention that if you and your buddy Mencken were still around, things would be a whole lot better.

**I mean, what the Hell ever gave anyone the idea that Tampa, for instance, was "major league?"

Herding the Elephants Update -- Iowa Caucuses 2012

Bumped up for convenience again, and including an  adieu to Ms. Palin:

Also, it's nearing the time to create a cleaner list -- retaining only those candidates still twitching with residual life. It's high on the to-do list for a time when our northern plains weather is less lovely.

----

(Bumped up, just for convenience.)

Even dedicated political geeks have a hard time keeping track of all the White House hopefuls trying out their pickup lines in Iowa. For one thing, it is hard to find a complete list of the serious, semi-serious,  and loony  trying on overalls and looking for a comfortable hay-bale perch.  So, here's an alphabetical list of these statesmen as culled from published sources, but I haven't gotten around to ferreting out all of the more obscure dimwaddiedoowops yet. 

---------------------

--Michele Bachmann, 55,  congresswoman, Minnesota


--(OUT) Haley Barbour, 64, Mississippi governor (Dropped out April 25)


--John Bolton,  63, former ambassador, Bush II's point man in Iraq. (Dropped out September 26.) 


-- (OUT) Herman Cain, 66, Godfather's Pizza. (Dropped out -- "suspendd campaign"  -- December 3


-- (OUT) Mitch Daniels, 62, Indiana governor (dropped May 21)


--John Davis of Grand Junction, Colorado, lumber yard owner, builder (added May 3)


--Newt Gingrich,  68, former U.S. House speaker, Georgia


--(OUT) Mike Huckabee, 56, former Arkansas governor, Fox teevee star (dropped May 15)


--Jon Huntsman, 51, former Utah governor,  ambassador to China


--Gary Johnson, 43, former New Mexico governor (added April 22)

--Fred Karger, California, GOP politcal consultant, openly gay. (Added August 14)

--(OUT) Thaddeus George "Thad" McCotter, 45,  Michigan congressman (added June 24, dropped out September 22.) 

--Judge Roy Moore, 64, disrobed, two-time loser for Alabama governor  (added May 19)


--Sarah Palin,  47, former Alaska governor, VP candidate 2008 (Out. Withdrew   Oct. 5.)

--(OUT) George Pataki, 66, former New York governor. (Added august 25 and dropped August 26) 

--(OUT) Rand Paul, 48, Kentucky U.S. senator (if  his dad opts out).  (Dropped April 26 in anticipation of Ron's formal "in" announcement)


  
--Ron Paul, 75, Texas congressman, former LP presidential candidate


--Tim Pawlenty,  51, former  Minnesota governor (Dropped August 14; withdrew after Ames straw poll)


--(OUT)  Mike Pence, 52, Indiana congressman (dropped May 15)


--Rick Perry, 61, Texas governor, (added June 19)


--Buddy Roemer, 68, former Louisiana governor


--Mitt Romney, 64, former Massachusetts governor


--Rick Santorum,  53, former U.S. senator, Pennsylvania


--( OUT?) John thune, South Dakota senator. (Dropped from list,with reservations, May 21)


--(OUT) Donald Trump, 65, businessman, casino operator, teevee star (dropped May 16) 

-0-

The list will change, and I'll try to keep it more or less up to date.

EDIT: May 5:Red ink identifies those who bailed after having been considered players or possibles.  I thought of just deleting them, but that seems so cold.

EDIT: John Thune was Xed out May 21. He said in February he wouldn't run, but the weasel words(not planning at this time, etc.)suggested he desired begging. No one has  begged yet,  and he hasn't been spotted scouting our hog lots, so TMR crosses him off with the caution that things are silly enough that he might change his mind.)