Or, "Quick, Henry, the Flit!"
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Political operatives have a running Q and A gag: "How far is it to Iowa?" The answer is ""(xxx) days." meaning the time left until the Iowa caucuses.
For one more presidential election cycle, we Hawkeyes will choose a president for the rest of you. More accurately, we will narrow your choices. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this because of our exceedingly virtuous character and the depth of our wisdom.
Last time around I blogged the damned circus for more than a year under a separate label (Iowa Caucuses 2012) and did my best to keep that part of the TMR objective. Mostly objective, anyway.
Because some actual working pros in the journalism and political consulting rackets said they found it useful, I guess I'll try to do it again.
I'll change the format slightly. I made up the last one as I went along, and while it told the story, it was slightly awkward, for me and for the folks who used it. Basically it will be a list, a quick reference -- the dude's name, age, party, residence, date became a candidate, date dropped out and so forth.
I try to include everyone, from the most serious contenders right down to the 47 guys in big shoes who pile out of a Volkswagen in the center ring.
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So why am I telling you now? What difference does it make??!! Hillary made me do it. She's here. The overture is playing.
Jan 26, 2014
Those Madcap Swedes; Uffdah! Greased Lightning
This is at least half funny. There's even a Jeff Cooper bonus, several Rule 2 and 3 violations. Under the circumstance, I think we can forgive them.
If you see something, say something
I fear I am a bad citizen. A man up the lake committed a crime which I have failed to report.
In clear violation of the Smugleye-On-Lake Zoning Code, without seeking official sanction, he maliciously slew, dismembered, and burned a tree whose greatest diameter was greater than six inches. (My eyeball estimate was about 6 1/4 inches, maybe even 6 5/16.)
The removal of trees, six inches (6”) or larger in diameter, may not be removed within thirty-five feet (35’) of the ordinary high water mark unless such tree is dead, diseased, or has significant storm damage. Such removal shall not be accomplished until application for a tree removal permit is filed with the city and approved by the Zoning Administrator and the Chairman of the Board of Adjustment. If either officer fails to approve the application, the application is denied. An application may appeal to the Board of Adjustment from the denial of a tree removal permit. There is a fee for a tree removal permit. Removal of trees six inches or larger, for visual reasons, is not allowed. Absent special and unusual circumstances, the approval of a tree removal permit shall include a condition requiring the planting and maintenance of a replacement tree.
The culprit confessed to me and arrogantly pointed out the grisly stump. His excuse was laughable; it was (a) ugly, and (b) barred access to his dock. It was also a stunted Chinese elm, and if you ask me that makes him guilty of a racially motivated hate crime, too. Nevertheless I could not summon the will to call 911.
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Ere he shall lose an eye for such a trifle... For doing deeds of nature! I'm ashamed. The law is such an ass. George Chapman, England,1654, Revenge for Honour:
In clear violation of the Smugleye-On-Lake Zoning Code, without seeking official sanction, he maliciously slew, dismembered, and burned a tree whose greatest diameter was greater than six inches. (My eyeball estimate was about 6 1/4 inches, maybe even 6 5/16.)
The removal of trees, six inches (6”) or larger in diameter, may not be removed within thirty-five feet (35’) of the ordinary high water mark unless such tree is dead, diseased, or has significant storm damage. Such removal shall not be accomplished until application for a tree removal permit is filed with the city and approved by the Zoning Administrator and the Chairman of the Board of Adjustment. If either officer fails to approve the application, the application is denied. An application may appeal to the Board of Adjustment from the denial of a tree removal permit. There is a fee for a tree removal permit. Removal of trees six inches or larger, for visual reasons, is not allowed. Absent special and unusual circumstances, the approval of a tree removal permit shall include a condition requiring the planting and maintenance of a replacement tree.
The culprit confessed to me and arrogantly pointed out the grisly stump. His excuse was laughable; it was (a) ugly, and (b) barred access to his dock. It was also a stunted Chinese elm, and if you ask me that makes him guilty of a racially motivated hate crime, too. Nevertheless I could not summon the will to call 911.
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Ere he shall lose an eye for such a trifle... For doing deeds of nature! I'm ashamed. The law is such an ass. George Chapman, England,1654, Revenge for Honour:
Jan 25, 2014
Mid-Winter Symphony; Minor Chords
1. The disasters continue. The 15-year-old Sunbeam quit this morning. An emergency trip to WalMart for replacement. Naah. ... Head for Starbucks? Likewise, and besides, there isn't one in a hundred miles (another good reason to live here) . ... Go without coffee? Unthinkable. ... Dump a handful of grounds in a two-quart pan and let 'er boil? Bingo.
2. Someone is stealing firewood in New Hampshire. (Live Cold or Steal). A propane dealer in Nebraska is advising customers to burn wood. My Senator Grassley has written a courageous letter to the FTC, requesting public servants there to be on watch for propane price-gouging and other immoralities.
3. The Great of Room of the quarters here at Camp Jiggleview, of which In am Commandant, is 76 degrees courtesy of a slow oaken fire, boiling Folgers, and a little watery January sunshine beaming in through the big south window.
4. Today and early tomorrow won't be too bad, then comes a howling three-day-dirge -- the highest temperature to be zero and the low 19 below. Winds will turn a small Kia into a viable box kite.
5. During the coming week the average daily high advances one more degree, to 27, and the average low from 7 to 8. For the remainder of my mortal days I shall defecate on statistics.
2. Someone is stealing firewood in New Hampshire. (Live Cold or Steal). A propane dealer in Nebraska is advising customers to burn wood. My Senator Grassley has written a courageous letter to the FTC, requesting public servants there to be on watch for propane price-gouging and other immoralities.
3. The Great of Room of the quarters here at Camp Jiggleview, of which In am Commandant, is 76 degrees courtesy of a slow oaken fire, boiling Folgers, and a little watery January sunshine beaming in through the big south window.
4. Today and early tomorrow won't be too bad, then comes a howling three-day-dirge -- the highest temperature to be zero and the low 19 below. Winds will turn a small Kia into a viable box kite.
5. During the coming week the average daily high advances one more degree, to 27, and the average low from 7 to 8. For the remainder of my mortal days I shall defecate on statistics.
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