Feb 22, 2009

How's that again?

"It's just tragic, that based on the guns that are on the streets, that three young men have lost their lives today," Chicago Police Supt. Jody Weis said.

I defy anyone to parse that sentence for linear logic. 

I suppose he meant "because of" rather than "based on." It would be just as bone-headed, but at least it would illustrate that Chief Jody is up to the demands of constructing a simple declarative sentence.


Heeeeeere they come again

Southside Chicago: Three teenagers killed in a gang war, and the responsible party is an "assault rifle."  The newspaper leads varied from "an apparent assault rifle" to "at least one assault rifle." But the dreaded words were always in the lead, usually also in the headline. 

In a better world reporters would follow up with a few salient facts:

-- Unregistered "assault rifles" are already illegal in America.

-- Guns that look like assault rifles are already illegal in Chicago.

-- The shooter possessed whatever kind of gun  it was illegally unless he had an Illinois Firearms Owners Identification Card. Any bets?

-- The shooter had an uncased and  loaded rifle in the car, and that's already illegal.

I know TMR readers already know this stuff, but it's offered as a handy guide for instant education of the hand-wringers you may know. We might also ask them to explain why some new gun law would dissuade such shooters. 

Steel yourselves. The left is in national  control, and the gun-ban media are anxious to bang the drums for any placebo that appears to "do something." 

Feb 20, 2009

Financial Management

Writing that latest post reminded me that it is cheaper these days to drill a hole in a penny (and sometimes a nickle)  than it is to buy a flat washer. I believe that will answer whatever other questions you may have about the American economy.

Bra Straps

Sometimes I think we need to suspend the First Amendment as it applies to the advertising industry.  

In a single 30-minute jabbermercial, some outfit is creating a brand new trauma for the world's  women, to wit, unstable bra straps sometimes slip and reveal to an aghast world that the lady does, in fact, use suspension. Clinical depression ensues.

The solution to trauma is a revolutionary piece of plastic about the size of a half-dollar with a couple-three slits and holes. If Ms. America can control her sobbing hysteria long enough, she weaves her straps into it, slips it up or down, and in a moment of pure magic becomes the Belle of Gloccamora, perfectly yet invisibly  cantilevered for just $19.95 plus $5.95 S&H. Call now. Have your credit card ready.

It doesn't take many spazz decisions like that to eat up the mortgage money.  

(Gender equity nod: Don't even get me  started on Extenze or howeverthehell you spell it.)

There are obviously enough insecure gullibles to make these pitches profitable. They are allowed to vote. Ditech loaned them McMansion money.  That should take care of most of your questions about the economic meltdown.