The Primer Shortage Explained

Brits are demonstrating their competitive spirit by popping too many Christmas crackers which are fueled by fulminate of silver.* Not only that, sceptered scientists** have just released results of a grueling study which provide a surefire method of getting the good poppy end and leaving Mum with the fizzle, no matter how hard she worked on the Christmas goose.

Aren't you really glad we won that 1776-83 spat?

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*Don't be picky. It could be primer compound.

**Yes, these would be the grandsons and granddaughters of Winston's Wizards, who developed radar and many other devices for annoying the Nazi's.