A regal barbecue is laid on. Above the pit turns a fatted calf, USDA certified prime, dripping succulent juices into glowing hickory to the delight of the Republican crowd rallying in the Arizona ranch lands.
The guest of honor appears. He smiles, unzips, and sticks his man part into the white coals.
No, Mr. Candidate. It is probably untrue that 99 per cent of mass murderers are Democrats.
It is likely true that you arose in morning and decided it would be a good day to advance the notion that the The Stupid Party really is.
If my Republican friends feel raped by this little offering: Please try to relax. It is a legitimate rape, so you can't get pregnant. Todd Akin told me so.
If I'm wrong Christine O'Donnell can chant a special incantation of joy as she casts me into the coven cauldron.
Sarah Palin can waterboard me.