We simply must rein in that Ahmadinejad guy. Let's get really tough and report him to the UN.
Libertarian thinking about everything. --Ere he shall lose an eye for such a trifle... For doing deeds of nature! I'm ashamed. The law is such an ass. -- G. Chapman, 1654.
Apr 20, 2009
Waterboarding the English Language
AP Headline: "Economy Declining but Recession Abating."
Eh?
Sure, there's a way to defend the Dali-esque logic of that, but only for Econogeeks who keep a copy of Samuelson on their night stands. It probably means that the economy sucks and will continue to do so but isn't sucking badly enough this week to meet whatever offical definition of "recession" Geithner is using these days.
I think the writer was simply obeying an old cub-reporter notion that obscurity is a sure sign of a subtle and profound mind. Good copy desks killed crap like that immediately. The crusty old fart in the green eye shades probably would have changed it to "You're Still getting Screwed, Only Slower."
(Ms. Whiskbottom in Standards & Practices would have bowdlerized it a bit.)
Apr 18, 2009
Need calories!
Idyllic weather graced my part of the world today, and I took full advantage. The John Deere 318 earned its keep pushing huge piles of oak leaves. I added some muscle, some seed, and some lawn fertilizer in an effort to make up for a couple years of yard neglect. I don't expect any horticultural awards, but it makes me feel better.
And hungrier. I finally decided on scratch spaghetti, and if I can't eat about two and one-half pounds of it I'll kiss your arse in front of the Washington Monument and give you a half-hour to assemble a congressional fact-finding panel to watch.
Apr 8, 2009
An American Dream
Three hundred miles east of the Somali coast, pirates attack and capture a cargo ship flying the Stars and Stripes and manned by Americans. The word spreads, and the U.S. Navy sternly warns that it is aggressively trying to decide what to do. In Washington, the Obama White House is issues two press releases, one reporting that the President will monitor the situation and another confirming that he is bravely monitoring the situation.
Meanwhile, 20 America merchant seamen aboard the decide they don't need no steenken Navy, nor White House either. They arose like the spirit of John Paul Jones to capture the pirate leader and send his fellow sea thugs scampering.
Spot news reports this hour say that is exactly what is happening, give or take a few trivial nuances. So may we honor our private enterprise sailors above all. This is the stuff of legend.
We might also kill a little time writing to the Pentagon and the White House. Tell the fellows that we possess a navy and its commander-in-chief for reasons other than handwringing indecision. I mean, like, we ain't French.
EDIT: Looks like one of those nuances is the captain bobbing about in a small boat, hostage of the three pirates who got away.
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