Well, Hell, I Try to be a Patriot

We patriotically obeyed Our Leaders in the $147 per-barrel days. We pumped up the tires, drove less, drove slower. With assists from the likes of Bernie Madoff it worked, and we're burning less gas. Very patriotic, and Our Leaders thank us with:

"Okay you benighted bastards. Since you won't drive far enough and fast enough to pay enough gas tax to keep our brothers-in-law the road builders happy we're gonna raise your fuel taxes."

Way out Left -- in Upper Kalifornia -- Oregon Leaders have a better idea. Make you buy GPS-equipped cars and trucks so they can track your travels and charge you by the mile. They absolutely promise this will not become a way for Big Brother to watch your every move, i.e., "No indeed. We would never let anyone but the fuel tax guys see your itinerary. Absolutely no chance we would let the cops and the other bureaucrats peek at it. I mean, +rilly+ +rilly+ rilly+!"

And your Social Security number can't be used for identification. And the income tax will never exceed 1 per cent. And your Grandpa voted for FDR because he kept us out of war.