You want to learn about lewd? Make an appointment. I'll teach you lewd. Like a real sailor. Like the talk that got talked in the forward bos'n' locker on the USS Henderson.
Captain Honors of the Bird Farm Enterprise? Hell, Mate, when it comes to lewd he's a brown-shoe flyboy (crudity whose referent is a WAVE's most private regions). He's Ozzie Nelson playing to Oscar Wilde.
Now, maybe the New Navy isn't the place for scurvy-arsed shellbacks who can still whip out a long splice blindfolded on the fo'c's'le at Beaufort 10 while belting out a chorus of On The Good Ship Venus.
So maybe Captain Honors should have read to the crew from the Collected Wit and Wisdom of Joe Biden.
The main thing that really gripes my briny butt is the generality of the shave-arse media lubbers screaming for his keel-haul. Who the eff are they to be evaluating anything saltier than whether the Lohan wench ought to spend another week in rehab? Bunch of flotsam from Miss Porter's Country Day School, and they ought to shove a bung or something into their gaping polliwog chow holes.
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"First we set sail for the Canaries..."
2 comments:
Ah, c'mon, Jim. Tell us how you really feel.
Yeah, you didn't even mention keel-hauling or Jimmylegs cat.
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